Post by FRANCESCA ELOISE LUX on Jul 31, 2011 16:34:13 GMT -4
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r71/maggiesrpstuff/BACKGROUNDS/fk5qwnjpg.png); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi ยป FIRE IT UP. to say she was excited to get the chance to go on tour would be an understatement. being on tour meant getting away from los angeles, from the loneliness that seemed to consume her there, from having to be in one place for too long. she was an anxious person to begin with, so settling in one place for months on end wasn't something she was very fond of. either way, the tour would be a nice break from the monotony that was becoming los angeles. it also didn't hurt that one of the first stops of the tour was none other than dallas, texas. sure it wasn't her hometown of austin, but texas was texas. here she had friends, had distractions. it wasn't just zephyr and her, or rather, her constantly nagging at zephyr and him reacting how any normal person would react - badly. at least with distractions she could steer herself away from the millions of guilty thoughts that threatened to consume her on a daily basis. that and it was nice to get away from los angeles in general. it was a lovely city and all, but her anxieties felt ten times worse there for whatever reason. she chalked it up to the fact that she hardy knew anyone there and people from los angeles, considering the business they were in, felt fake. people were constantly trying to kiss ass or make their way to the top. yeah, not her kind of scene. lightly shaking herself out of her own little world, frankie gripped her bag closer to her small frame as she carefully weaved herself through the throngs of people littered throughout the grounds in hopes of making it to the merch booth reserved for the hot seekers. the merch tents were neatly set up side by side just a few yards up ahead. fans were already passing by with high hopes to meet the band they adored so dearly. people lingered about waiting eagerly to purchase that one shirt they would probably wear at least fifty times, if not more. which was why she had left the hot seekers set a couple of minutes early. what would a merch booth be without the merch person running it? empty. and that was no bueno. it felt good though, the fact that she was actually doing something. she liked the fact that she could support the band. moral support was fine yeah, but at least with this, she was being a little bit more proactive and was preoccupied. because if she had to think about selling shirts, that was less time her brain would use to fret over the thousands of ways zephyr was possibly cheating on her. her heart clenched painfully at the mindless thought. she never went a day without thinking about it. she waved shyly at a small group of people she'd met earlier on in the week as she settled herself on one of the chairs next to the four that'd been set up for the band. she smiled half-heartedly at the on-lookers that eagerly searched for the band that they idolized. the disappointment at only spotting her was quite evident. she wasn't part of the band. the band of good-looking and talented boys. including her boyfriend. how convenient for her, huh? to be the merch for her boyfriend's band. some would say it was her way of supporting him, others that it was a chance for her to keep an eye on him. an opportunity for her to let those nasty thoughts of jealousy grow and grow until she was confronting him once again and they'd have yet another argument. her screaming and him simply withdrawing. it was hard though. to watch all those girls shamelessly flirt with him. she couldn't help but wonder why the hell he was still with her. after all she put him through. he deserved so much better than she had to offer. that she was sure of. because despite their tumultuous relationship, despite all the insecurities, she knew that zephyr would never intentionally hurt her. either way, her relationship with zephyr was anything but neat. it was messy, it was complicated, it was sweet, and everything else in between. she loved him, there was no doubt about that. if she didn't she wouldn't have been engaged to him. then again, she wouldn't have broken off the engagement either, would she have? the ring that she kept on a chain around her neck, hidden beneath the material of her shirt was proof of that love that she refused to let go of. she loved him, she just was too much inside of her head to get her act together. if things were different though, if she wasn't so fucked up in the head, it would all be alright. she'd be living happily with a guy she absolutely loved instead of constantly trying to justify to herself that zephyr wasn't cheating on her. or having a panic attack about him leaving her for another girl. it made her anxious just thinking about it. the thought of him holding another girl to him dearly instead of her, or him sweetly pressing his lips against some blonde's. she took a deep breath as her imagination began to get the best of her. propping open her bag, boney fingers reached for the bottle she always chose to ignore. the black letters with the words "prescribed to francesca lux" taunted her. no, she didn't need them. she was okay without the medicine. better without it. she simply refused. she skipped over the translucent orange plastic, pretending she hadn't in fact brushed against it, and grabbed her chapstick instead. now wasn't the time or place though to let herself by consumed by nonsensical thinking. she had a job to do. albeit a small one, but one nonetheless. uncapping the cap of the light blue plastic tube, she smeared the soothing salve on her lightly chapped lips. it was hot out. the sun's rays beating down mercilessly on her bare shoulders. she smiled lightly at the passerby's, hoping the band would be done with their set soon. she'd been watching earlier: mesmerized by the passionate way they played. so dedicated to their craft of music. blue eyes looked around, searching for the boy who made her heart leap and fall at the same time. 1063, for the lovely ash! , omg so sorry for this hot mess of rambled words, so excited though! c: |
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