CLEAN WITH THE CLOUDS

[NOAH TYLER ORTIZ]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, margin: auto; line-height: 80%; padding-left: 50px; width: 400px] noah was currently a little bit beside himself, to say the least. band practice earlier in the day had pretty much wiped him out, and the short-lived feud that erupted over text with sydney just an hour or so later definitely didn't help. sure, noah was blowing things out of proportion as he was infamous for, but still. he had had to suffer through four hours of listening to everyone in love like a rocket bicker about where they were going to order lunch in from, and then he had to watch their lead singer commit one of noah's biggest pet peeve crimes and dip everything in an excess of ketchup. noah could admittedly be a little bit of a diva, but all he was really asking for was people to act like normal civilized human beings, and not over-do it on the condiments so much that it made little old noah sick to his squishy little belly. god forbid he get upset, right? he went through the rest of practice with a glum face plastered on like some kind of latin statue with a rusted patina making up his suntanned skin. he was a bitch, to be honest. once he was in a bad mood, it was nearly impossible to cheer him up. unless you were sydney sherman. that was a whole different story. whenever noah thought about syd when he was in a damper mood, things seemed to get better. even if the last time that noah and sydney had hung out they ended up in an explosive fight, noah found the better things about her. the image painted in his head of his beloved squid was a happy one. she made him laugh when he felt like there was a giant rain cloud following his every move, she kissed him in all of his favorite places, and she played with his hair when he was tired and laid his head in her lap. that was true love, in noah's opinion. their relationship obviously wasn't perfect, though. sydney probably had a bruise to prove that fact. noah felt bad about that. he felt bad about making her sad sometimes, and he felt bad about disliking her occasionally. he didn't think about those things. he refused to do that to himself because it would only make their romance more toxic and disastrous than it was if noah only saw the darkness and none of the light. it was delusional and childish thinking, but those were two words you could use to describe him as a person, so it almost made sense in a way. almost. it was no excuse to push her around, but if noah didn't even bother to think about that, it didn't matter. right now, he was sifting through his kitchen cabinets to try and find something for the two of them to munch on. noah never really had much of an appetite, but after watching his band members all sopped up in greasy food from mcdonalds, he had passed on his lunch and found his stomach getting a little bit vocal. he had left syd in his messy bedroom to make herself comfortable, and find something good on tv. it was already pretty late out, nearing eleven or midnight, so he hoped that she could at least catch some good infomercials before the actual 'sleep' part of their sleepover ensued. he grimaced slightly at his empty pantry and cleaned out fridge, and made a mental note to head out to whole foods to restock first thing after syd left tomorrow. the last time he had asked her to come along and help, he ended up spending three hundred dollars on disgusting food that they had only bought 'just to try.' it was a mistake that he didn't feel like he could afford to make again, so he settled on it... even if he would've loved to spend more time with her. it worried him that they seemed to spend less and less time together, and she seemed to be seeing more and more other people besides himself. noah couldn't control her when she was off with others, and it made him sick to his stomach just thinking about what she could have been doing without her. just thinking about it made the hair stand up on the back of his neck, and the bag of animal crackers clenched in his hand crunch up with his white knuckles. with a quick wash over of clear thought, he relaxed his grip and let out a shaky breath. easy. she wasn't doing anything wrong. there was no proof. you're just mad because she didn't want to see your fat ass in swimming trunks, he decided. he smirked slightly at the thought, but only because it made him angry no longer. he was getting better at that, and his paranoid side was dying down. he nudged the fridge door shut after pulling two bottled waters from it and came back to his room in an awkwardly hobbled over position to assure he wouldn't drop anything. hi, he grinned as he dumped the gathered treats at syd's side on the queen-sized bed before hopping on it himself. what are we watching? he asked as he sprawled out and nestled his head into his stacked pillows that formed a makeshift backrest that propped him up just right. he could assume that it was probably animal planet or discovery channel since shark week was sometime this month, and he knew syd well enough to know she wouldn't miss a minute of it if she didn't have to. also, he started as he pulled open the box of animal crackers and peeled it open, how was your hot tub thingy? he asked between chews and crunches. he turned over to look at her slightly; no angry feelings pent up in his eyes or anything. he playfully swung one of his legs over her body and slid down a little on his bed, not really worried about any 'unattractive' double chins or weird looking ankle bends. they were pretty far past that by now. he brushed some crumbs off of the comforter, hoping that none of them would find their way under the sheets later. that would be irritating. kinda bummed i didn't get to see your swim suit, not gonna lie. he teased, unable to hide his classic half-smirk that graced his tan face at the coy words. everyone else there was pretty lucky, haha. who did you say was there, again? he asked the question as if it wasn't a minefield waiting to be tread upon. THIS IS 1105 WORDS FOR TATI/SQUID AND WTF IS THIS

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[sydney penelope sherman]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background-color: #b2c9ba; width: 410px; height: 250px;] WELL I'LL BE GOING 'ROUND AND 'ROUND THIS CYCLE WON'T SLOW DOWN sydney and noah's relationship was a complicated one, at best. to be quite honest, syd was shocked as hell that someone like noah would even go for a girl like her - especially since their first meeting was quite the awkward one. syd never wanted to be an actress or a model, or anything on camera really, but when her friend called her about auditions for a music video being shot by this local band, love like a rocket, she felt compelled to go. little did she know that she'd end up kissing the entire band, and that she'd end up dating noah a few weeks later. she still felt a little weird about it, knowing that she had kissed all of noah's old friends on camera, and that the evidence was still on youtube. even so, despite the fact that they made it to second base within an hour of their meeting, three months later they were here, in love. and honestly, noah was all syd had. she had never thought she would be the type of girl to drop everything for a boy she was seeing, but her and noah's love turned into one quite a bit more intense than she had ever expected. she had never known that she could get so jealous, but whenever she saw a fan talking to him, she had to resist the urge to claw her eyes out. she had also never considered herself a vindictive or bitchy girl before, but she realized that she more often than not flirted with guys around her just to get a reaction out of her boyfriend - and well, a reaction was usually what she got. that's not to say she didn't love him though, because even if she liked to push his buttons, she also knew that for some reason, she loved him more than she could ever imagine loving anyone else. she loved how squishy he was, how soft his hair was when he got out of the shower, and how gentle and sweet he could be with her, only her. she realized that she got to see a different side of him on a consistent basis, and that made her feel good, special. noah ortiz from love like a rocket loved her and only her, and even though some days he was her absolute worst enemy, she could never let him go. besides, honestly, who else besides noah would put up with sydney's constant manipulations, provocations, and snide remarks? no one in their right mind, that's for sure. that night she had gone over to rea's, with the intention of being half naked in her swimsuit in front of a bunch of her friends, people she didn't really know. she knew they'd flirt with her, after all, there was wine and beer and rum around, and warm water that got everybody's blood boiling. she didn't invite noah on purpose, but it wasn't because she didn't want him around... she mostly worried about how he'd act around other people, because he had that jealousy streak in him too. the last thing she wanted was for a fight to happen at rea's, pretty much the only friend she had in los angeles since she relocated to be closer to noah. and the sad thing was, a part of her knew it would hurt him to leave him out... but she liked to test him. after their text message fiasco, she quietly excused herself from rea's - she was definitely glad she hadn't been partaking in the drinking, as she promised to be at noah's in twenty, and there was no way she was going to risk getting pulled over for drunk driving. she threw her t-shirt on over her swimsuit and slipped on a pair of shorts and sped off, hoping that if she got there reasonably close to the time she said she'd be there, that he wouldn't be too cranky. she knew she brought it on herself, that she perpetuated his bad moods in the same way she could calm him down in an instant. she needed to learn to hold her tongue, but sometimes things just slipped out without her thinking. honestly, there was no reason for her to say half the things she had said to him tonight, and she knew it. when she arrived at his apartment everything seemed to be fine - he was getting better and better at controlling his bad moods, and she hadn't seen him legitimately angry in quite a while now. she lounged on his bed while he searched for a midnight snack, and just as she promised she pulled out her perfume and sprayed his pillows with it. it always worried her whenever she wasn't over for a few days - after all, he was in a famous band, and was as cute as a button. as much as noah worried about her cheating on him, she had quite the same worries, her paranoia fueling the harsh remarks that so often slipped out lately. she smiled as he came back into the room, animal crackers in hand. it was ironic, seeing as she was probably the biggest animal nerd on the planet - still, as long as they weren't animals of the sea, she didn't really care to munch on the creature-shaped grain nuggets. "hi." she responded, her heart fluttering a little. there was no way that sydney would ever fall out of love with him, even after all the fights they had, all the things they said, all the things they'd done. all he had to do was smile and she'd be his again, no questions asked - which was quite a dangerous thing for noah to know. "we can watch whatever you want, you can pick tonight." she offered, trying to make up for her actions earlier tonight. normally she'd flip it to watch steve irwin reruns, or something else as equally informative about the animal kingdom, but she felt like she owed noah something... and there wasn't a whole lot that sydney had to give. after all, she had already given up pretty much everything for the boy - her family, her home, her job, her school career. she didn't regret it for a moment, she knew she was meant to be with him, after all. but being in an unknown city with a crappy job while her boyfriend was living his dreams... well, sometimes the resentment got to her a little. syd snuck her fingers into the box after him, popping one into her mouth as he asked her about rea's. "oh, it was fine. a little boring, i was the only one not drinking, so it was lame. i was ready to leave anyways." she said softly, her body melting into noah's as he initiated the snuggling. she was so used to this that she no longer worried about being around him without any makeup on, or what her morning breath smelled like. she knew he accepted her for all her flaws, even if sometimes he handled them a little differently than she would have liked. "we can go swimming tomorrow, i still have it with me." she offered, pulling at the neck of her t-shirt to reveal the strings of her bikini tied around her neck. she leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the nose, as a sort of unspoken apology for not inviting him out tonight. "oh, you know. rea, some of her friends. i didn't really know any of them, i probably couldn't even remember their names now. besides, they were all drunk, i don't even think they could remember their own names." she answered as delicately as possible, knowing that saying the wrong thing could set him off - although he had gotten better recently, maybe she didn't have to worry about making him jealous over dumb little things. she was careful to not mention that everyone who was there besides rea was male, and that rea was trying everything in her power to get syd to drink tonight. even though she wasn't the best girlfriend in the world, syd still had somewhat of a clear boundry of what was too far - and getting drunk with a bunch of guys while half naked was definitely over that line. she was glad that noah seemed to be in a good mood though, because there were times when he didn't believe her for the world. ASHLEY AS NOAH/SHARK - 1405 WORDS - SNOAH :C

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[NOAH TYLER ORTIZ]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, margin: auto; line-height: 80%; padding-left: 50px; width: 400px] smiling wasn't really noah's thing. he was more of a smirking type, or scowling, at best. it was pretty rare to get him to give a full out grin, and he knew that fan girls went home sad because the best attempt of a smile he could muster up for pictures was a sad and pathetic fake grin at best. he only genuinely found himself happy in syd's presence. some of the time, anyway. certainly he had those occasional on stage moments where kids sang along to lyrics of a brand new song and he had some euphoric type of feeling inside that made him smile too, but sydney was his only guaranteed path to true content. it was bizarre how he could claim he hated her sometimes and then say how much he loved her and couldn't live without her. he was mixed up and upside down and unsure of his feelings because he was a twenty-one year old boy thrust into a fast-paced world he couldn't quite keep up with. the things he was supposed to be feeling yesterday were the things he felt today. it's like it took him a day to realize that when athena threw a drumstick at him yesterday, it was rude. and just now he was rubbing the back of his head, scowling about it. it finally registered, and clearly, that wasn't exactly 'normal.' however, if you wanted normalcy, noah was never really the right person to look for it in in the first place. his lips twitched upward even farther as she returned his little greeting and seemed to be pleased that he was back. there were times that noah questioned just how much she actually liked him. although noah was probably the only apathetic and blase one in the relationship, he felt that she just saw past him sometimes. he felt like shit for making her throw her whole life away, if she didn't even really want to be there. she could have just as easily went ahead with any of the other guys she had kissed back when making the video that brought them together in the first place. what made him worth it? was she just with him for the ride? ... no. she stopped his idiotic thoughts and went back to chewing mindlessly. he had had too much caffeine earlier. that was all. no need to get his mind wrapped up in something that didn't even exist. there was no need to get in a fight this late at night and risk waking up the neighbors or anything. not that they hadn't done so before. he shifted around slightly to get closer to her but still remain propped up just enough to see the tv. he wrinkled his nose at whatever was on and picked up the remote; padding in the number for animal planet because he just felt like making syd happy. he wouldn't really be watching it, anyway. he rarely did. the number of times he drifted off to sleep listening to facts about meerkats and warthogs and their non-existant relationship was infinite, but he never really cared that much. the only animal he directly cared about was his chi chi. his blonde little chihuahua might have been an ankle biter, but as she slept atop her little floor pillow decorated with jalepeno peppers, noah couldn't help but love her. that fucking dog was probably the only other thing he loved beside syd and his family, and even when it came to his blood relatives, he questioned things. this looks good, he said sarcastically as he watched an army of ants carrying a leaf across the pavement. at least this was a little more entertaining than the snail marathon that had been on last week. jesus christ. he raised his eyebrow with her plain answers. he couldn't help but get over that sense that she was holding back some. he felt her nestle against him though, and it washed away the worry in an instant. it was insane how quickly noah could be tamed, just by her touch. it seemed that they each had their own bizarre breaking points. if only they knew, maybe things wouldn't escalate so much all the time. but that's life. he slid his arm beneath her and snaked it around her waist; scooping her up closer to him even still before retracting it to his side so he could fish out some more cookies. he looked at her sideways with questions burning in his hazel eyes. oh, he said blandly, nodding obediently as he told himself to just let it go. she was allowed to have a personal life outside of his own. after all, she practically started everything over just to follow him around. he should have been able to respect that. he smirked slightly as she showed him her bikini top; how could he not? he nodded again but paired it with a lighthearted scrunch of his shoulders. the scrunching action continued through to his nose after he felt her lips on it, and he laughed in a soft breath. just as sydney could be manipulative, so could noah. and sadly enough, he planned on putting his own game to the test to get to the bottom of things. he was curious and asked a simple question in a nice manner. he even smiled for her, and shared his frosted animal crackers. he didn't do that for just anyone. something told him that she was holding back, though. that bothered him more than anything, because he himself was a person who held back. he hated burdening people with his own business, whether it be feelings or just stories about what he did during the day. he felt like his life was just a big twitter update. no one really cares about it, some people get slightly irritated by it and scroll past, and others just unfollow you every time you want to say something. alright... maybe that was a little bit far fetched, but it was a nicer way of saying that noah felt pretty useless. syd was too pretty to be dating him and way too smart to be wasting her time on him. what could he provide for her? nothing. maybe when things got physical between them (not in the romantic sense), it was just a way of him trying to push her away. perhaps he was trying to inadvertently get her to leave him so she could move on to bigger and better things. he didn't know, though. he was too mixed up to even worry about it. here was where that manipulation thing came into play. he leaned over slightly to return her nose kiss from before. however, this time he instead placed his smooch on her lips, and eventually let it trail down to her neck and the little crook between her shoulder and her throat. he looked up at her with innocent eyes; making sure that although he was hovering over her now, he wouldn't be choking the life out of her with his squish. that's pretty funny, he chuckled against her skin; rubbing his cheek into that same crook of flesh. you know, you would think that after being over there a while and you not even drinking at all, you would've at least caught someone's name or something. he laughed again; kissing that same patch of skin again, but this time nipping ever so slightly. no big deal, though. he lied as he pulled away from her coldly, shooting her a slight glare before retreating back to his original spot. eyes fixated on the tv, he fiddled around with the neckline of his tank top. so, any cute guys there? he asked; pausing before looking over at her. don't hold out on me, i mean, i know you probably want the good ones for yourself, but you can't blame me for trying. THIS IS 1321 WORDS FOR TATI/SQUID HE'S SUCH AN ASS

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[sydney penelope sherman]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background-color: #b2c9ba; width: 410px; height: 250px;] WELL I'LL BE GOING 'ROUND AND 'ROUND THIS CYCLE WON'T SLOW DOWN even through all the bullshit, and all the awful things that were said and done to each other, she loved him. she loved how his arms felt when they were wrapped around her, how he couldn't keep her eyes off of her whenever she was around. how he was nice to her, and would let her pick the tv channel, or what they ate for dinner. they were caught in this horrible cycle - fine one day, screaming the next, fucking one minute, hitting each other the next. her few friends that saw a few of the marks or bruises would tell her to get out, while she still could... yeah, well that was back home, and here, no one even knew. they were so good at hiding the skeletons in their closets. to the public, syd and noah looked like the happiest couple you could ever see. she made him smile, he made her laugh, they'd kiss and cuddle in front of people and everything would appear to be absolutely peachy. she got compliments from a few fans, the ones that respected the boundaries and didn't send her hate tweets... those were the kind of girls that gave her hope, not the stupid whores and sluts who would hit on noah knowing that he had a girlfriend. hell, she'd even see girls go up to him, trying to give them their phone numbers... while sydney was standing just a few feet away, watching it all go down. she never considered herself a violent person towards strangers, but she had gotten so close to knocking some of these fans down a peg once or twice. she could see his mind at work, and sometimes that worried sydney. she knew that noah was good at snapping at any given moment, that a single thought that ran through his head could bring back a whirlwind of memories and thus make her life a living hell. sydney had never cheated on noah, no, but she didn't make it too obvious that she was seeing someone when she was meeting new boys, and had a bad habit of texting different guys she met at odd hours of the night. she also unfortunately had the habit of leaving her phone around for anyone to find, and there was no way in hell that noah didn't know her password. she wasn't quite sure when their real problems started, when things started getting too intense for her to even think about getting out - but wasn't that how it always went? she didn't regret a minute of this relationship, she knew that she would be here for noah through the worst and best parts of him, just like he would be for her. and most of the time she didn't mind the bad days, because it meant a good one was just around the corner... yes, she really did need to get a better mentality, but she grew up believing this was normal. to her, the kind of physical contact her and noah were always in, whether it was sexual or not, was a part of growing up, was a part of relationships. that's what small towns did to you, when no one would talk about anything and these obvious displays of bad domestic behavior went untreated, or even worse - glorified. thanks, tennessee. sydney sank into noah, wanting every inch of her skin that could possibly touch him to do so. she craved his touch, even the bad kind. she looked over and saw him typing in those familiar numbers, the one that linked to her favorite channel - yes, noah loved her enough to watch ants on tv rather than whatever else he'd rather be watching. "oh shush, ants are actually kind of cool... did you know that ants can lift over a thousand times their own weight?" she spewed, the animal facts pouring out of her like they always did. she wasn't a big fan of reality tv, and couldn't stand cartoons (with the exception of finding nemo) and often resorted to watching this or discovery on a daily basis. you could ask her anything about nearly every animal in the kingdom and she could tell you something interesting about it - the ironic part was that her boyfriend was named after the man responsible for building the ark that saved said animals from the great flood, and he didn't seem to give a flying fuck about ants or newts or hippos. that's what she was around for though, to keep him updated on the useless information that he couldn't really get anywhere else. her eyes flicked back and forth between both of his, trying to get a glimpse of what his brain was wrapping around now. she was always worried whenever she told him stories, or gave him an idea of where she was at the night before. he rarely believed anything she said it seemed, and she had to walk on eggshells whenever he got like this. the one word answers always worried her, as they did in text messages as well. still, she could distract him with the idea of her being in a swimsuit, and with the use of her lips on various features of his face. she liked to pretend that she was good at getting out of these interogations, but she had used up almost every reason and excuse in the book by now. you'd think she would learn to just tell the truth and let it go, but no, sydney was an instigator, she had to push the envelope as far as she could before it'd turn into something there was no coming back from. she could see it on his face, the questions forming in his mind, a plan of attack if you will. there was no such thing as a normal, civil conversation between the two. everything had passive aggressive intentions behind it, or was just purely selfish to get the other to do something they didn't want to do. maybe if the two had learned some real relationship skills growing up they could solve their problems through discussion, not through nasty words and blows. he leaned over to kiss her, and sydney thought for a moment that he was going to let it all go. his lips moved to her neck - definitely one of her weaknesses - and got lost in the moment until his voice snapped her back to reality. "oh. i mean, i don't ever plan on hanging out with them again... so it shouldn't matter." she mumured, her hands moving to his hair, tugging slightly. his teeth grazed her skin, and she let out a soft wimper, and then he stopped. yes, she could tell her was mad by the way he was sitting, and the cold look in his eyes - oh lord, were they about to get into another one of those awful fights where they made each other feel like shit just so that one of them could feel superior? most likely. she watched him mess with his shirt, and her eyes flicked to the tv as he looked at her - quick, she needed to recover. "of course not." she blurted, moving her hand to rest on top of his, squeezing gently. "i mean, there were guys there but, no one could compare to you, my perfect boyfriend. i only have eyes for you, noah."

[/color] she answered sweetly, rubbing the top of his hand to give him some comfort. "i wouldn't hold out on you..." she retorted, starting to get a little defensive. it was times like these, when she felt attacked or put on the spot, that the nasties started pouring out. "when have i ever done that? you need to stop being so paranoid." she mumbled, tracing a heart on the top of his hand with her index finger.

syd knew noah's neighbors probably hated them, as they made the most noise at two am - whether it be for good reasons or not. she always felt a little awkward whenever she'd leave and they were out on the sidewalk, or if she'd come home right as they were leaving to go to the store or something. she knew they knew, but she knew they would never say anything either - at least, they hadn't so far, and it had been quite a while since they started getting rowdy in los angeles. "i love you, noah. i know you forget it sometimes, but i do. i'd never do anything to wreck what we have." she stated truthfully, moving her hand to his cheek to pull his face in for a kiss, hoping that if she connected them this way he'd drop the subject. maybe all he needed was to get some of his frustration out sexually, then he wouldn't get so angry at her all the time. "can we just drop it?" she asked carefully, her fingers moving to the hemline of his tank top. maybe the threat of stripping would make him change his mindset, although maybe he'd think she just had more to hide by switching the conversation so fast. thus was their entire relationship, a huge game of cat and mouse, push and pull. neither one of them could ever be pinned down as the bad guy, because their actions were constantly one-upping each other's for most fucked up. [/div]

ASHLEY AS NOAH/SHARK - 1569 WORDS - SNOAH :C

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[NOAH TYLER ORTIZ]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, margin: auto; line-height: 80%; padding-left: 50px; width: 400px] it made noah sick sometimes to think about life without sydney. he didn't even know what he was going to do if syd didn't tour with them, really. he'd just be a moping drone day in and day out; mentally non-existent at signings, and severely lacking in any sort of stage presence that he might have had normally. he wouldn't be able to do it. his bunk would seem too big for one person for the first time in his life, and he'd feel uncomfortable without being a smelly, sweaty boy in front of someone who he liked to look good for. he could only imagine, painfully, the texts and phone calls he might get. he wasn't so hurt thinking about the 'i miss you' or 'i love you' that syd might send every once and a while, though. no. it was the ones that asked him what he did that day that worried him. he wouldn't want to tell her everything because he wouldn't want to brag, but he also couldn't just outright lie and say 'nothing.' it was a trap, really. she'd probably either be pissed one way or another; wondering if he was out sleeping with groupies or forgetting she existed. he lost either way. yet even with all of that, all of those horrible and gut-wrenching possibilities stacked against him, he had yet to confront her about traveling with the band. he didn't even know how to go about asking, for christ's sake. what if she didn't even want to go? he could practically feel the color draining from his face as his heart slowed and he just wanted to go numb. thinking about syd rejecting him sent unpleasant shivers up his spine and goosebumps sprouted on his arms as he just wished he could sink into the mattress and disappear forever. if only it were that easy. it was a fucking wonder that these two weren't actors by now. they put on such a good show for all of their friends and companions that it was insane. no one suspected a thing or even dared to wonder what life was like back in the ortiz or sherman household. it was rare that noah really branched out to others, but for syd to remain undiscovered... it was a miracle, really. for noah, at least. he didn't know what he would do if people found out. he didn't want to know, either... which meant he either had to stop, or he had to really make it clear to syd that she couldn't tell anyone. ever. the second idea seemed easier, unfortunately. he tried to look intrigued with her insect factoid and nodded. mm, he grunted, staring blankly at the frantic pile of bugs clambering over one another. fascinating. he mumbled; not really wondering whether or not it hurt her feelings. it wasn't like she was an ant, and if he really wanted to learn about them, maybe he would've taken a different life path and went to college to become a zoologist. it was strange that he was just disregarding her animal facts, though. normally he would have made it into some cutesy joke and used it as an excuse to crawl all over her. however, the thought of other people crawling all over her in the hot tub was still playing through his mind, and he just couldn't quite shake it. now the idea of him going away was changing. syd probably wouldn't want to go with because she had better things -- people -- to do while he was gone. she probably wanted him gone. he looked at her as she stared at the tv; pain written all over his face as the color washed from it again, just imagining her. she'd probably use the key to his apartment and fuck him on his own bed, just to spite him. holy shit, he whispered under his breath, blinking at her in his betrayed state before realizing what psychotic whim he was going off on. that... leaf must... be really heavy, then. he practically stuttered, trying to cover up his tracks. he was such an idiot and his sudden interest in the ants wasn't fooling anyone. why did she even bother with him? seriously. he looked glum and beside himself, but as he felt her sinking into him even further, it was hard to keep up that pathetic shell. he was that one friend who was always warm. you went to them when it was cold and blustery outside for protection, and you cuddled up close to them when hanging out at a bonfire. it was noah, and to say the least, that fact definitely suited his spicy personality. and maybe his heritage too, but that's a different story. he breathed in her scent directly; already noticing that his pillows were all syd-scented. just the way he liked it. that was a good thing, too. everyone knew things went to hell when noah wasn't pleased by now. kissing her felt so wrong and right that it was almost intoxicating. knowing that noah controlled her by the mere feeling of his lips against her's had him feeling good. he was happy -- mainly because he was in control. as a newly twenty-one year old, you suddenly became in charge of yourself. after eighteen years of being oppressed by his parents, having a little bit of control in his life was just what he needed. noah would take it any way he could get it, too. hearing syd whimper with just a simple movement of his lips made him feel powerful. he felt like she was a puppet on a string, wrapped around his fingers. he loved every single second of it. especially the way that his slight weight against her seemed to squeeze out the things that he liked to hear, like apologies, details, and explanations. he nodded against her neck as she admitted she wouldn't be seeing them again. that was what noah had heard, at least. he had done just enough to tease her, and give her a taste of what he always had to offer to get her to fess up whatever he wanted. he was more conniving than he appeared, and as he sat brooding beside her now, he realized it. he could go from being romantically involved one minute to being invested in nothing but loath the next. typical noah. he directed his icy stare to their touching hands, and found himself wanting to buckle. so she could play this game too. his heart felt like it was being squeezed when she said he was perfect. it was such a flat out lie that it almost angered him... but with such a flattering compliment, how could he stand to be mad? he said nothing as she continued on, but instead, tried to coax himself out of relaxing. if he just let it go, she would just keep on doing what she was doing. that was probably stripping for dudes in a hot tub, in noah's head, and that wasn't cool. but the way she rubbed his hand and looked at him, it just... it wasn't fair to not forgive her. he felt suddenly incapable of holding it against her, and just sighed. well... i don't know, he said quietly; suddenly back to that bambi-like timidness that he was known for by others. you never know. i know how guys look at you. he shrugged slightly, feeling like he was the one without the power now. there weren't even any other guys here, and yet he felt inferior to them. how was that for self esteem? sorry, he said finally. i don't mean to be paranoid, i just... i can't even think about that kind of stuff without getting worked up, you know? he fessed up, his eyes suddenly pleading and begging for her forgiveness as he stopped watching her tracing hand and returned to look at her face. god, she was beautiful. he was so lucky she was his. and only his. he sat in silence with her for a while, feeling sheepish and embarrassed now for the rash way he had acted. feeling her pull him in, the words registered. it clicked in his head, and he finally stopped thinking about what had happened ten minutes ago. he was back in the now. i love you too, squid. he said affectionately between his mouth being mashed up against her's. a lot. he smiled ever so slightly; forehead wrinkling beneath his disheveled and dark hair to showcase his sincerity and concern for her. he really did love her. maybe a little bit too much, though. if that was possible. her lips acted like a memory eraser, and by the time sydney was asking if they could 'just drop it' he had already forgotten what 'it' was. he nodded; eyes glued to her's in an almost trance-like state. he was the one who was a puppet. he was the putty in her hands. he was confused by her hands and pushed them away slightly by diverging her approach. he simply took her hands into is, and intertwined their fingers together before sinking back even farther into his tower of pillows. i'm really sorry, syd. he repeated. please don't be mad. i didn't meant to get angry. he grimaced slightly; a childish pout creeping over his face. i just worry about what would happen if you ever found someone better. that wouldn't be hard. THIS IS 1581 WORDS FOR TATI/SQUID AND SNOAH ;~;

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[sydney penelope sherman]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background-color: #b2c9ba; width: 410px; height: 250px;] WELL I'LL BE GOING 'ROUND AND 'ROUND THIS CYCLE WON'T SLOW DOWN even if she didn't look it, sydney could be one of the most insecure people around. she thought about how her boyfriend was a famous musician... someone who had fans, fansites, little girls who screamed his name whenever he got up on stage... it made her so uncomfortable thinking that there were literally hundreds, probably even thousands of girls who wanted noah to break up with her, who thought that they could be better matches for the love of her life. and honestly, noah could have his pick of the bunch. she put noah up on a pedistal, thinking that he could do no wrong. she felt honored that he had picked her of all people to be his girlfriend, that she had impressed him enough on that very first video shoot that they met at to continue his contact with her. she fell for him the moment she saw him, and continued to fall harder and harder with each passing day. it amazed her that one boy could be so sweet, so tender, so loving... definitely not the same guy that other people saw him as, she knew the rumors that he was a buzzkill, that he was rude and short with fans and that he had the tendancy to use sarcasm on people who didn't understand it. she knew noah's inner workings, and honestly she had him pretty much figured out when they met. she'd had experience with guys like him, those who guarded their feelings as if they were national secrets. the fact that she was the girl to enter his heart, it still gave her butterflies when she woke up in the morning and saw him next to her. it outweighed all the bad by far, even if most of her friends couldn't see that even if there were bad days, she was happy. deep down, sydney was happier than she had ever been before, even if she had to constantly second guess herself. even if she pulled stupid stunts to reassure herself that he was still in love with her. sydney knew the two didn't have too many shared interests, and he didn't really care about bugs and whales and ocelots, in the same way that she didn't care that much about most of the bands that he toured with. they put up with each other's hobbies though, and while sydney would go to band practice and sit and wait and watch them go over the same songs over, and over again, noah would allow her to put on an hour long program about the evolution of the dung beetle or the mating call of porpoises. she was enamored with all sorts of different life - why she had such an interest in wildlife was beyond her, as she didn't ever go to the zoo with her family or visit the oceanside with friends over summer vacation. it was probably moreso the beauty of these animals, how they didn't seem to have vendettas against each other, or start wars against other species, or pollute, or be absolutely awful to each other. she could sit and watch the discovery channel for hours, and it was times like these - when her boyfriend would let her learn about ants rather than watch something funny - that she realized that she honestly had found her soulmate. no one else would ever put up with her dolphin clicking ringtones, or her need to tivo absolutely everything during shark week. none of her other friends put up with the facts about sea life that she told whenever conversations went awkward or dead, or let her ramble on about how orcas were dolphins, not whales. she knew some people made fun of her for her immaturity, but noah seemed to accept it, knowing that it was a part of sydney that couldn't be changed. even if they hated things about each other, she knew that he'd never actually want to change any aspect of her personality, just as she'd never expect him to stop being himself to make her happy. they were two pieces of a puzzle... a broken, dysfunctional puzzle, who worked as long as no one was around to shake them loose. she turned to look at him, watching him go silent - usually noah was the king of commentary, always having something to say about everything that was happening. it was one of the things she liked about him, she knew he was paying attention even if he was making sarcastic remarks and basically expressing that he'd rather be sleeping, or building a fort out of pillows on the floor. "yeah..." she commented, noticing the worry on his face - it was unmistakeable, as that face usually came around the time that she said something that ticked him off. honestly, half the time sydney did it on purpose, testing him to see exactly what she could get away with before he got mad. after all, was he still in love with her if he could let her talk about being half naked with a bunch of guys without getting mad about it? the first time noah had ever gotten physical with her, sydney had honestly brought it upon herself. she wanted to see how much he cared about her, if he could bring himself to show just how much he wanted her all to himself. the logic of it all was flawed, as the lines of social acceptability were blurred in sydney's mind. one abusive relationship after another, and this was just normal. she didn't know anything else, all she knew was that if things started to get boring, no doubt noah would leave her for someone with a little more flare, someone who could keep him on his toes better than she could. any time she saw this look on his face, she prayed to god that he wasn't thinking about how much happier he'd be with some other girl, someone hotter, skinnier, sluttier. if that were to ever happen... oh god, sydney knew she could never take it, as noah was her entire life and at this point she had given up absolutely everything to be with him. her relationship with her parents, whoever she was friends with before her and noah became an item... noah was her security blanket, and she'd rather die than see someone else in his arms. a little shiver rose up her spine, and she pursed her lips together, trying to keep an even head about this. after all, she was making a big deal about the lines of his face, nothing more... it's not like he had said anything out loud, right? part of her liked it when the feeling of control took over noah's head, when she could see it in his eyes that he knew that she'd do absolutely anything he said, and anything for him. she fought him, only to get him to work harder at keeping her in line. any time he showed power over her, she practically melted - was it wrong that her biggest weakness was all of her other weaknesses being used against her? she could be a tease, yes, but when he played the game right back, she went wild. this was what love was, she had decided. she rubbed her thumb across his cheek, seeing the doubt in his eyes. doubt in her. how could noah ever think that she could have the guts to cheat on him? she liked to pretend that she did, she liked to put on this persona of someone who could get whatever and whoever she wanted, no questions asked... but that's what he fell in love with, wasn't it? if he saw how truly smitten she was with him, would he decide she was used and boring, and move onto the next weak-willed woman? sydney leaned forward, resting her forehead onto his - any physical touch that could reassure him of what she stood for. "noah... you're my everything." she stated, her shell cracking as his did. whenever his weaknesses started to show, hers did too, and she figured it was just her projecting her own insecurities onto him. noah was never weak in her eyes, he was the perfect boyfriend, the perfect man. there was no way that he could really believe that she could find someone better, so she could only imagine what kind of game he was playing right now. "i couldn't imagine myself with anyone but you." she whispered, moving her head back, watching the look in his eyes carefully, trying to read him. even if she knew noah like the back of her hand, she often had a skewed perception of what each of his looks were - right now, she had no idea what he was thinking, as his words continued to confuse her... athough she had to admit she was pleased that he had gotten a little worked up, it meant she had done her job right, that he was thinking about her instead of the dumb bugs that were on the tv screen. luckily her words somehow did the trick, and her attention was averted from the ant hills to him, as he pressed his lips against hers, reassuring her with one movement that he was still in love, that all he wanted to do was to take her in. she smiled at the nickname - honestly, no one else but sydney could be happy to be called 'squid' by a boyfriend - and kissed him back, until an apology poured out of his mouth. "don't apologize, no. i like that you care enough to tell me when you think i do something wrong."

[/color] she answered with full honesty, biting her lip as he pouted at her - how was it that one person could flip her emotions on and off like a switch? mad one moment, regretful the next. "me, find someone better?" she laughed - honestly, the idea of her finding someone more perfect for her was the biggest joke in the world. "you're the one who's going to find someone cuter, who loves your music more than i do, who doesn't care so much about stupid animals and who doesn't make you so mad."[/color] she answered sadly, hoping that he didn't take her words as an invitation to go do so. "you're so much better than i am, noah. you deserve better than me." she whispered, not realizing that those words were the trigger to all sorts of emotions. she could feel that icky lump in her throat, the burning in her eyes as she tried not to shed a tear at the thought of losing noah for good. "but all i want is you. you, you, you, noah."[/color] she continued to babble on, pushing her lips against his in an attempt to end the word vomit... and hey, maybe he wouldn't realize that she was on the verge of tears, that all it took was saying something about him finding someone else out loud for her to have a near mental breakdown.

syd pulled back, bringing a hand to her face to try to wipe away a tear as sneakily as possible. "sorry, i... didn't realize that i was going to be an emotional mess tonight, don't mind me." she continued to ramble on, laughing at herself in an attempt to clear the awkwardness from the air. "your girlfriend is just a big baby." she mumbled, running her hand through her bangs, doing whatever she could to keep her body busy while she avoided all eye contact with the guitarist next to her. after a few more seconds she regained whatever composure she had in her, swallowing the tears that were making her voice crack. "so what did you do today? sorry for being selfish and not asking you earlier." she asked, hoping that a change of subject could ease the awful thoughts that were still threatening to make her break down again. [/div]

ASHLEY AS NOAH/SHARK - EXACTLY 2000 WORDS - SNOAH :C

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