GIVE ME ANYTHING

[GRIFFIN MICAH BUELLER]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/dyook8.jpg); width: 380px; height: 430px;] today definitely had its pros and cons. griff was a generally neutral person who didn't see the glass half empty or half full. it was just... half. that was how today was going so far, and he couldn't say he minded it, really. he was forced to wake up earlier than usual, but this venue had showers. he found out he had to walk the line to get in and try to sell down over dover cds, but someone had given him a pack of cigarettes which he hadn't been able to pick up in a few days. for every minus, there was a plus, and vice versa. griff was feeling pretty good. although he was being forced into playing a solo acoustic set along with a regular full band performance, the weather was just cool enough that he didn't break too much of a sweat. he got to wear jeans and put his dorky looking basketball shorts back in his suitcase, and he got to actually look nice for once and not waste his shower from earlier in the day. he smelled like a normal human being, looked clean-shaven, and even got his non-greasy hair to flip up the way he wanted just in time for the acoustic. speaking of which, it was just wrapping up. as griffin played his last song -- a new addition to their tour arsenal, and griffin's personal (and hilarious favorite) -- a katy perry cover, he let his eyes wander the crowd. however, for one of the first times in his life, he wasn't looking for the hottest blond with the tightest body. instead, he was looking for a wavy head of auburn hair with those trademark trent eyes. she wasn't to be found, but griffin simply shrugged it off, and turned his attention to the sky. he and the little cluster of fans were inside of one of those charity tents, but he could still see a sliver of the sky and the outside surrounding. it was about six o'clock last time he had checked, and although it was still pretty light outside, he could tell that the big clouds gathering were a good promise of thunderstorms and rain to come later. he smiled slightly at the fact; knowing that that practically guaranteed him a night of bunk cuddling with riley if he pretended to be afraid. she'd see through his fake act, but that was part of the fun. he would pout and throw her with some puppy dog eyes, and he'd be settled in up against her in no time. he tied up the set with a happy thought in his head, grabbed his water bottle, and split. he'd already went through the hell known as a signing earlier today, so he felt it wasn't a big deal to just ditch. besides, most of the crowd had already departed anyway, and he had better things to do. earlier in the day when he had had to split up with riley, he had made sure to text her to meet up here after his set was over. he didn't really care if she watched him or not, but he at least wanted to have a convenient place for the two of them to meet up. she had free range of tour grounds and would be able to hang out backstage if she didn't want to deal with the fans in the actual tent. griff assumed that that was the latter. he could tell that riley was uncomfortable when it came to dealing with down over dover's following. he couldn't blame her one bit, though. griffin wasn't an idiot. well... not completely, anyway. he saw the things floating around online that somehow mentioned her name in rarely a positive fashion. it upset him greatly, but he chose to just ignore it. he figured it wouldn't be as easy for her to do, but since she hadn't said anything to him yet, he saw no real reason to bring it up. why fix something that wasn't totally broken? griffin preferred to just sweep things under the rug, and that was that. as long as he got her all to himself, he was happy. griff had been faithful to the extreme ever since he and riley's last fight before tour even began. he took a final swig of his water before ditching it behind the tent as he was led out the back flap. ah, privacy. he grinned at the feeling, along with the slightly chilly breeze that tussled his hair. before he began the mad hunt for his girlfriend, he paused to light himself a cigarette. it had been at least three or four days since his last, and after a long day of 'hard work,' he felt that he had earned it. he pocketed his lighter with a happy sigh and puff before he began to roam around the area behind the tents. griff examined the roadies tearing down the nearest stage and pulled out his phone after he hadn't spotted riley anywhere. he called up her contact and began to text a where are you? message, but as soon as he was about to hit send, he bumped into someone. he might have been a jerk, but he wasn't a complete douchebag so he lowered his phone to apologize. of course, it was riley. sorry, he laughed slightly, obviously not expecting that. you were just so attractive that you blended in to everything, i don't even know. he teased and tucked his phone away; careful not to burn her or anything as he hugged her and took a drag behind her back. he pulled back from her and exhaled the smoke giddily, pointing to the sky. see that? that means cuddles. he smirked, regarding the ominous clouds overhead. it was bizarre how quickly griffin could go from being a tough 'rockstar' rebel to being a happy-go-lucky little lovestruck boy. but what's up with you now? he asked finally; extending his free hand for her to hold as he began to walk forward. 1012 words for nicole as riley. dis sux ily!

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[riley cait trent]

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if there was one positive thing about riley being on tour, it would have to be that she was out of the office. yes, she was still a bit business oriented seeing as she was on tour on business to begin with. her days were spent interviewing bands, taking a few live shots and signing shots, and then putting it all together for an article at the end of the day. however, she had more down time and relaxation time here than she did back home in los angelas. also, the concert junkie in her loved getting the chance to go from set to set and just enjoy the music. tour was her little piece of heaven in her crazy world. kind of like griffin was. even if he could easily be the hell in it too, he was more heaven than hell most days. especially out on tour. the couple got to spend more time together because no matter what, they were always going to be in the same area. even if he was on the other side of the grounds it was quite easy for the two of them to meet up and the end of the day. and they always made sure they had time together every day, usually several times a day. she almost always tried to make it out to his set, usually working her way into the pit right in front of him if she could. sometimes she couldn’t do that though, and she’d stand side stage. she had a press pass, and because of that she could pretty much stand wherever she wanted to and watch him play. side stage was a lot more convenient and spacious, but the photographer in her still liked the way the pit felt.

but of course for all the positives of tour life, there had to be a negative. randomly throughout the day, riley would get these small pains in her heart. it wasn’t exactly a home sick kind of pain, because in reality she could do without stepping foot into her apartment every day, and she truly enjoyed being out of the office. no, this pain was caused by a hole in heart that could only be filled by a certain little boy. before zane was born, she’d never realized how much someone could love a little kid. it kind of made her wonder how she’d feel about her own children, because obviously the connection with them would completely different than the one with zane. but that little boy owned her heart, for the most part anyway. part of it belonged to griffin of course, but a large portion of it belonged to zane. together, the two of them completed it. she set aside some time every day to call her sister and zane, talking to both of them for at least thirty minutes. her and her sister would talk about typical things, like work and their love lives. not that riley had a lot to update her sister on, but seeing as her sister was single and looking riley usually got to hear a lot of interesting stories. then she’d talk to zane, and he’d tell her stories about the things he’d seen that day, and she’d tell him stories about tour. for some reason he was always fascinated with griffin’s stage life, so she’d always attempt to recreate the set for him in story form, telling him about the songs that were sang and such. why it interested him, riley had no clue. but it did. maybe it was because she elaborated a bit, but it wasn’t exactly easy to make stories for a child out of tour life anyway.

then there were the fans, which was always an up in the air thing. most of the fans were griffin’s, not hers. sure there were a select few who knew her through her work with soundaddict, but for the majority of the fans she was simply griffin bueller’s girlfriend. and some of them liked her. most of them hated her. for every one that liked her there were five that hated her. that was why she did her best to just avoid them all together. even if anton promised that he’d punch anyone who spit on her, she still didn’t want to risk it. mostly because part of her felt like he’d follow through with that, and the last thing they need was anton going around punching his own fans. it would not be a good thing. plus, that’d probably just make them hate her more because it would be her fault anyway. wandering around tour by herself, she always seemed to feel icy stares sent in her direction. so far she hadn’t been confronted, but she was always tense and ready for the day it would happen. in all honesty, she wouldn’t be shocked at all if she ended up with a broken nose because some groupie tried to take her out by punching her in the face. she’d read the blogs online, seen the comments, and she knew the threats. and she’d be lying if she said they didn’t scare her, because they did. while most of those people were probably too cowardly to follow through with anything they said they’d do to her, she was certain that a select few had just enough guts to do what they said they would. the question was if they were one of the more violent ones or not.

the day was drawing to a close, which meant griffin’s acoustic set was coming up. she really wanted to go to it, because she always felt that there was something more intimate about acoustic sets. no, not intimate in the sexual kind of way. it just seemed a lot more personal, and there was a different kind of connection between the musician and their fans. that was something she wanted to see of griffin, but that closer setting also meant she’d be closer to his fans. and that would just be setting herself up for her nightmares to come true. so instead, she headed behind the tents and took this as her opportunity to call her sister and zane. from where she stood, she could see the tent that griffin was playing in. when he finally excited out the back, she told her sister that she’d talk to her later and started heading his way. somehow he’d gotten some more cigarettes, something that kind of bothered her. she was always telling him that smoking was bad for him, but it was him and it was hard to change his habits. and she loved him despite them. his eyes were on his phone when she approached him, so caught up in the text that she assumed was for her that he actually bumped into her. she gave him a small laugh as he hugged her, then looked to the sky after he pulled away and pointed out the clouds. ”i guess it does,” she replied with an untypical dull tone to her voice. her mind had been spinning so much lately that she found it hard to be enthusiastic right now. she wished she could, because there was nothing she wanted more than to be held in griffin’s arm, listening to the rain pour down around them. sighing softly, she took his hand and let him lead them about. for the most part she kept her gaze directed toward the ground. ”i’ve just been working on getting some photos put together for an article. and i talked to zane earlier too.” her voice still held that dull tone as she looked over at him. ”you know you’re digging an early grave when you smoke,” she told him. the tone even carried over into his scolding, something that wasn’t typical for riley at all. it was hard to lecture someone with a monotone voice. at least it was if you wanted them to take you seriously.

1,328 words. oh my gosh he's so cute and she's so dull and gross.

template by eliza @ shadowplay

[GRIFFIN MICAH BUELLER]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/dyook8.jpg); width: 380px; height: 430px;] tour was a gritty experience. you saw people at their worst, and you saw them at their best. going for days without a real shower in stale air conditioning with high humidity didn't really act as a good building block for a relationship. people tended to get snappy, hostile, and even a little bit apathetic. griffin wasn't really bothered, considering this was basically the one time a year he actually got to do anything 'fun.' being on the road just fueled his fire. he was kinder, more lively, and even a bit more motivated in general. his ego was inflated to the extreme with the amount of gifts he was given, the number of photographs he was asked to take, as well as all of the things he was asked to sign. people knew him. in los angeles and in delaware, he was just a face. on tour, kids pulled him to the side, pointed at him and whispered, and shit, some of them even cried. although it was awkward as fuck, it was probably one of the biggest compliments you could really get. griffin was just a regular guy, but he didn't mind giving out hugs or posing for snapshots to make someone's day, or week. who was he to know how much he impacted someone's life? unfortunately though, not everyone felt the same way about being on the road. riley, being one of them. griff knew that she was glad to be here somewhat. she got to keep an eye on him, spend time with him, and catch him at his best. he also knew that she was missing zane, aware of maniac fans, and probably anxious about work in one way or another. somehow, he felt bad... but he figured she would probably be out here anyway with or without him. she had a press pass, after all. she wasn't just one of those girls wandering around with an 'escort needed' wristband that marked her as just another girlfriend or something. she was talented, and when he read over her shoulder on the bus at night, he was always blown away. she beat his high school newspaper writing days out of the water. that wasn't exactly hard to do... but still. anything riley did amazed him in general, and he was glad to have her here. especially as his girlfriend. keyword: his. he would never let anything happen to her, and he really sincerely hoped that she knew that. she seemed sort of absent now, though. even if she had laughed and not been mad at him for running into her, things didn't sound right. at all. he narrowed his eyebrows slightly at her lack of enthusiasm toward the obvious storm gathering. you guess? he repeated; trying to rouse a laugh out of her again because his tone was totally playfully, along with the smirk on his lips. jeez. i see how it is, ri. you're too good for me now, huh? i get it. he said as he pretended to wipe away tears. nothing. she was still as monotonous as before. it was weird how he could tell something was off just by hearing her say four words. he listened to her speak and felt his heart aching. was it really that bad? he looked over to try and read her expression, but found her eyes fixated on the earth. griffin squeezed her hand slightly. well that's good. you had really nice light today for pictures. and zane is just about as awesome as it gets, right? griffin had begged on his hands and knees to try and get zane to come on tour. he hadn't told riley or anything, but he truly had. however, because down over dover was in the process of getting a new manager, and everything was arranged so last minute, it was an impossible feat. griff doubted riley's sister would have allowed it anyway, but griffin could imagine nothing cuter than singing on stage with zane running around at his feet. he didn't want to upset her more though, or seem like a lame wannabe dad to the kid, so he kept his lips sealed. for now, anyway. just as he put his cigarette to his mouth again, he felt riley's eyes on him in a scornful manner. the guilt welled up in him as she spoke, but her tone made it hard to really take to heart. he was tempted to jokingly blow the smoke in her face like he normally would have, just to piss her off, but her mood seemed so... weird. it just wouldn't be worth the backfire it would probably cause. instead, he blew it in the opposite direction, and stopped their walking for a minute to ever so slowly and painfully drop the stick onto the ground. regretfully, he looked to riley for approval as he crushed it with his shoe, and carried on. sorry, he said quietly as he resumed their pace. he made sure to keep his strides a bit smaller, just to keep in time with her and not make it seem like a rushing game of follow the leader. he wanted to walk around with riley 'behind the scenes' and get down to the bottom of what was going on. he didn't feel like having prying eyes on them while trying to have some deep conversation or something. he could just imagine it. he'd be walking around with riley or sitting at the down over dover merch tent talking about 'feelings' and someone would just come up, clear their throat, and ask for a picture. there would be no way to recover from that, and it would be awkward enough talking to riley about what was wrong anyway. he hated confrontation -- even if it was just asking why she seemed so down. he liked ignoring things and pretending that that would make them all go away. everything would magically get better, and there would be no consequences to deal with. what's wrong? he asked after a while, tugging her hand slightly to get her attention and assert that he was being serious. you sound like a zombie, and i know it's not because you're tired so don't lie. you were snoring all night long so if anyone's tired, it's me. he teased; always trying to keep the situation as light as possible. they didn't need to have a blow out fight like usual. god forbid they end up breaking up or something and then end up having to still see each other every day. or worse, have to do an interview. that would be his nightmare put into action. hands down. he leaned over slightly to kiss the side of her head a few times, trying to coax her into choking out some information like the needy little boy that he was. oh, and curious, too. is it because you miss zane? he asked, feeling bad now that it was all coming out. or did i do something? or...? i dunno, but tell me what's up. i wanna help. he pouted slightly, hoping she would let him in. all griffin really wanted at this point was to see riley smile. she was the girl he'd written so many songs about, spent so many days with, and had so many dreams about. she deserved to be happy, and if there was anything griff to do to make her genuinely glad, he would. no matter what. 1245 words for nicole as riley. hush B|

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[riley cait trent]

.

touring was hard on riley, not only because she missed her nephew and had to deal with fans, but because she had to deal with the fact that she couldn’t shower for days at a time. it made her feel gross and a little crabby at times. you’d think that this made things difficult for her and griffin, but it always seemed like he was always cheery and giddy when it came to being on tour. when she got crabby, he’d find a way to make her smile. and that was why she loved him. he was basically the only person that could do that for her. no one before him had been able to pry a smile from her when she was completely determined not to smile. yes, she was the kind of person who got crabby and wanted to stay that way. when people poked at her and constantly asked what was wrong, she treated them like flies and trying to shoo them away. unless it was griffin, because not only did she trust him with her problems, she knew he’d do whatever he could to make it better. and not only that, he seemed to need to know what was wrong with her. if she didn’t tell him, he always seemed a bit offended. which that usually just resulted in her telling him because she felt bad. so in the end, griffin always found out what was bugging riley. but it wasn’t a bad thing.

there was no other way riley would want to spend tour than with griffin. she’d been on tours without him before, before they met mostly. they hadn’t been very fun, at least not the way the tours with him were. those tours had been all business for her, and when she wasn’t interviewing or taking photos, she was sitting somewhere on her laptop putting things together. she never really went out and explored things, talked to people, or spent a lot of time at sets. the only sets she went to were the ones she was photographing, as opposed to now when she would just go out and check out a set because she randomly felt like it. now she hung out backstage more, whether it was with griffin or anton or cammie. if anything, griffin had made her a lot more comfortable with herself out on tour. now she actually used her press pass to her advantage, instead of hiding away in a little cubby hole. having a press pass also helped her avoid the fans, because she could weaver her way around the restricted areas. this wasn’t something she did before, because she felt out of place back there. but now she didn’t. she felt like she belonged. riley could tell that griffin was playing around with her, trying to get her to smile like he always did. his signature, playful smirk that made her weak in the knees was plastered across his lips as he spoke. the tiniest hint of a smile came from her before she directed her gaze back down at the ground. ”i’ll never be too good for you,” she told him in a low voice. even if she knew he had been joking around with her, she felt that it was a statement that needed to be made. they’d reached the point in their relationship where no matter what happened, riley would always love him, and there would always be a spot for him in her heart that no one else could own.

the small squeeze of her hand was probably the most reassuring gesture that griffin could ever give her. she was never exactly sure what he meant by it, but it still made her feel better about any situation she was in. for some reason, it assured her that he cared. ”the lighting was nice,” she nodded in agreement. she’d gotten better pictures today than she had in a while, and even if she didn’t seem too excited about it, she really was. it was rare that she was happy with the majority of her photos, but today she really was. for once she hadn’t trashed the lot of them. the way griffin talked about zane caused a true, genuine smile to cross riley’s lips as she nodded. ”yeah, i promised him i’d skype with him tomorrow. he says he has some new paintings he wants to show me. you should see him too,” she looked over at him, hoping they could find a time that was good for the both of them so they could see zane together. it wasn’t exactly the same seeing the little boy through a computer screen, but it was something and riley dealt with it. it was better than not seeing him at all. ”he asks about you a lot. he likes to hear stories about what you’re doing. but they probably sound better coming from you.” sometimes riley wondered if griffin even realized how much zane looked up to him. it kind of scared her at times, because she wasn’t sure if it was healthy for zane to turn griffin into that father figure that he didn’t have. but the boy needed a male figure in his life, and griffin was the only stable one he had. and it wasn’t like zane was running around calling him daddy, so it couldn’t be that bad, right?

the last thing riley expected griffin to do was stop and put the cigarette out. normally he’d just blow off her little comments, which would then lead to a small argument about his health and wellbeing. of course there was always the typical argument that smoking caused lung cancer, but she’d given up on that a long time ago. instead she usually went for a different method, and that was telling him that smoking was going to ruin his singing voice. in the end that seemed to matter to him more. she gave him a nod of acknowledgement for his apology, continuing to walk beside him. it was obvious to her that he was making an effort to keep her next to him instead of slightly behind him like before. it was easy for her to fall behind though, seeing as she was quite a bit shorter than he was. at least in the legs. his steps were longer than hers. but his effort to make his smaller was sweet, and she liked it. just walking around with him, holding his hand made her feel better. nothing else mattered except the two of them, and no one was going to take him away from her.

again she fixed her gaze away from griffin, this time just looking at random things in the opposite direction. then she felt him tug on her hand, only then registering that he’d inquired about what was wrong with her. she glanced at him, only to quickly avert her eyes to the ground again with a sigh. ”i don’t snore,” she muttered under her breath. he was always making jokes about her snoring and keeping him up, even if she was positive that she didn’t snore. whether she really did or not was actually a mystery to her, seeing as she couldn’t exactly hear herself if she did. but she liked to think that she didn’t and he was just teasing her. the small kisses on the side of her head got nothing out of her but a small, appreciative smile. she just liked the affection, but she wasn’t exactly ready to spill her guts just yet. however, griffin was being his typical self and not letting things go. ”no babe, you didn’t do anything. and yeah, i miss zane but i still talk to him so it’s okay.” letting go of his hand, she took a few steps away from him and crossed her arms. this wasn’t something she really wanted to get into, mostly because she wasn’t exactly sure how to tell him that the threats coming from his fans were starting to scare her. ”i just,” she turned to face him, stepping back toward him. her crossed arms had turned into more of a way to hug herself protectively. ”i feel like i have to watch over my shoulder all the time out here, because i don’t know who is going to come after me. i know a lot of it is just talk, but what if someone actually follows through with it? i’m not a fighter griffin, if someone tries to take me out, i’m going out.” at least she was finally honest about it, but she didn’t want to start anything with his fans. the last thing she wanted was for him to have a negative attitude toward his fans. shaking her head, she literally waved away her first statement. ”no, no. forget it. it’s stupid. and just forget i’m even talking right now.” again she turned away from him, walking away as if that would make everything she just said disappear.

1,500 words. don't hush me woman.

template by eliza @ shadowplay

[GRIFFIN MICAH BUELLER]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/dyook8.jpg); width: 380px; height: 430px;] griff wasn't all that different from zane. that was probably half the reason why riley put up with him on tour, at least. he was practically insane -- running around constantly, forgetting to tell people where he was going, getting lost, etc. he was so into juvenile things like playing tag with fans and playing one-sided games of hide and go seek with their manager, cammie. he was a kid, basically... except he smoked pot, and drank himself silly on a pretty regular basis. he was definitely on his best behavior when riley was around, though. he cut back on the booze, didn't really smoke around her, and tried his best to keep his cuss words and dirty jokes to a minimum. he liked to think that he was impressing her. he hadn't puked from over-drinking yet, and he hadn't even touched another girl besides hugging people that came up to him with their arms open and eyes wide. it wasn't like he could quit cold turkey and turn away anything with a vagina from now on. he still had to be nice. griff simply turned down the natural flirtatiousness of his ways, and saved all of that extra fire for riley, whether she liked it or not. she certainly didn't seem to be enjoying any part of this. not even the time she spent with him, as he could tell by the glum sound of her voice. this sucked more than griffin anticipated it would, and once again, for one of the first times in his life, he was feeling guilt. he knew that it was hard for riley to put down work and spend time with him. yeah, they got to be together here on tour, but still. he was technically working, and so was she. they were busier than ever separately, and griffin, not surprisingly, was wrong. apparently being out on the road together wasn't the cure that they needed. she clearly was unhappier than before, and griff couldn't help but feel like he was the only one to blame. he was supposed to be her lover, after all. the person you loved was supposed to fend for you, take care of you, and make sure you were always happy. griffin was often too exhausted to sometimes take into account the needs of others, but he thought that he did a pretty decent job of keeping up with riley. apparently not, though. with his ego crushed and his heart throbbing for all the wrong reasons, he walked alongside her sadly. the storm gathering overhead no longer seemed like a fun background noise to cuddle to. it was just a personified form of their crappy and sad relationship that never seemed to get any positive light no matter what they did. he sighed slightly to himself, feeling his head droop with his gloominess. oh, stop that. he mumbled in response to her saying she wouldn't be too good for him. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, ri. he said truthfully, trying to lighten the situation by bringing his 'tough guy' facade down slightly. he smiled lightly to respond to her dull comment about how her pictures came out. griffin could care less at this point. clearly she didn't want to talk about pictures, so how could he be even the slightest bit interested? he had tried to get her intrigued by something, but she seemed bored. either by him, or... he didn't know. god, he hoped he wasn't boring her. griffin felt his heart sink slightly in their temporary silence. what an awful feeling it was to think that you made the love of your life unhappy and apathetic on a place so fun as the skyline festival. his stomach churned slightly and he felt himself fighting off a frown. this wasn't about him, and for once, he realized that. she seemed like a whole new person when the conversation turned to zane. he breathed a slight sigh of relief; listening to her animated voice for just those few seconds before things went back to being dull and dreary once more. yeah! of course, he nodded, trying to be lively and hope that it would wear off on her. i'll tell him all about it. he promised; trying to catch riley's eye to show how serious he was. he loved being in zane's life, whether lael liked it or not. hanging with that rambunctious little kid made him feel that much closer to riley and her heart, and griff could see no negative to that. the fact that the only thing riley gave him in return for basically wasting a cigarette was a nod made him hurt a little. selfishly, he wanted to turn around, pick it back up, and try and nurse the poor crushed thing back to life... but it was too late. and besides, he knew better than that. it probably meant a lot to her that he was at least listening to her now, in case he hadn't really been before. he tried his hardest, really, he did. he frowned as she took his joke the wrong way, as he should have expected she would in this current state anyway. i know, babe. he said softly; thumb stroking her hand slightly to remind her it was only a loving joke. he was always teasing, really. shit, if he had ever hurt her feelings for real when he was just jesting, he wouldn't even know what to do with himself. it was an uncomprehendable feeling, really. griff felt like the lowest of the low all of a sudden -- even if she said it wasn't his fault she was so down. he looked to her in search of answers. instead, she let go of his hand and moved away from him completely. he felt his mouth moving slightly, but no sound came out. he was speechless for once. why was she doing this? he watched her fold her arms over one another and knew this wasn't going to be good. he just hoped that this was something he was capable of fixing. he reached out for her as she confessed what was really bringing her down to this sad, non-riley level. it nearly broke griffin's heart to hear it. was he really that oblivious to it? were things really that bad, and he hadn't noticed? or, had he ignored it along with all of the other warning signs? he should have put a stop to it. jesus christ, riley. he mumbled cheerlessly; eyes sad like a puppy. why didn't you tell me? he practically whimpered, feeling like the worst boyfriend on the planet like he always did whenever he fessed up to cheating or something of that nature. this was even worse. this was physical hurt now; not just emotional. no, i won't just 'forget about it,' he huffed as she dejected his open arms and walked away. he stood alone for a moment before following after her; catching up in a mere amount of strides. baby, if you don't feel safe, i can get you home. he grabbed up her hand again, doing the familiar 'squeeze' to try and get her to a happier place. i'll even come with you, if you want... yes, he was serious. he was selfish enough to drop the tour just to be at home with his girlfriend. the fans would learn their lesson, and he'd be able to keep her safe. ...right? griff thought about the offer more and more, and realized the downsides. the fans would probably just hate her more and call her the yoko ono of the band, and down over dover would obviously be missing out on a big opportunity. it wasn't like they'd be able to replace him quickly while on the road. god, they'd probably kick him out if he just up and left. he shook his head at himself; not sure what he was even thinking. what can i do? because i'm not going to let you be afraid anymore. he had a sour expression on. that's fucking ridiculous that people say that shit to you in the first place. as ridiculous as it was, though, griffin couldn't quite tell riley to just disregard everything. what if she did let her guard down and them something actually happened? he would feel even worse. he bit his lip again in deep thought; furious and devastated all at the same time -- both things that griffin didn't know how to really deal with. typically he would have just shut down. however, since this regarded riley and her well-being, he kept himself intact as best he could. i don't want you to feel like you have to watch your back, he said quickly as he stepped in front of her so she couldnt keep walking. he took both her hands before kissing her nose and forehead. i love you and i'd never let anything happen to you. he had his nose pressed up against hers so she would be forced to make eye contact. we'll figure this out, okay? i promise. he didn't know how he was going to come through, but he would. a promise was a promise, after all. 1541 words for nicole as riley. i suck

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[riley cait trent]

.

no matter where she was, the office, home, tour, even at griffin’s place, riley tended to mother the people around her. it was something she’d picked up ever since she’d started taking care of zane, like she couldn’t separate the way she treated him from the way she was supposed to treat an adult. she just mothered everyone in different ways. there was her office, who she just made sure was getting things done on time. and she was always there for them if they wanted advice or had questions. but if you were going to refer to them as children, you had to point out that they were the best children a mother could ask for. riley loved and adored everyone in her office. they were the best writers around, and even if some of them felt the need to sneak around and leave like she didn’t know they were doing it (oliver...), she didn’t really care because when you got down to it they all did their job. they did it well, and each of them had their own individual passion for it. then there was zane, who she of course mothered for obvious reasons. on tour, she looked after people and at least tried to drag them back to the bus after they got wasted. being the designated driver didn’t bother her too bad, at least not as much on tour as it did at home. mostly because she understood that people let their guard down out here, and it was better for someone sober to be carting them around than it was for a bunch of drunks to be making their way around on their own.

and then there was griffin, who was mothered in more ways than one. at home, she was doing his laundry and making sure he was keeping himself somewhat clean. it wasn’t like she was oblivious to the fact that he quickly picked things up whenever he knew she was going to be arriving at his apartment. there had been quite a few times when she’d shown up unannounced and the place had looked as if a tornado had just gone through it. those unexpected visits usually ended up with her cleaning the place for him, pushing him into the shower, and making him some real food. taking care of him like that didn’t bother her though, because she felt like it was the good girlfriend thing to do. plus, she did it out of love, because she wanted the best for him and it probably wasn’t exactly healthy to be a mess all of the time. on tour, she mothered him by doing things like commenting on his smoking as she had earlier. she knew he drank quite a bit on tour, even if he wasn’t always doing it around her. but it wasn’t like he hid it either, because all she had to do was look at his twitter and she’d know he’d been drinking. and there was also the fact that anton liked to take pictures of him and post them. those nights she typically just shook her head and went to sleep on the couch in the lounge of the bus with her laptop and other work essentials scattered around her. glancing at griffin as he spoke, a small smile graced riley’s lips. whether or not she was truly the best thing that ever happened to him was beyond her, mostly because she couldn’t see herself being the best thing for anyone. she appreciated his words all the same though, and they still made her stomach turn a little bit. turning her face back to the ground, she let his comment fade into silence.

it was truly amazing how the mention of zane could turn riley’s whole attitude around. the little boy pretty much gave her life whenever it seemed like she was dying. if it weren’t for him, there was no telling where riley would be in her life. she’d probably be nothing but a hermit who worked all day, and had no concern for anything besides her camera and laptop. zane had taught her to live a little more and stress a little less just by having the innocence of a child. he was good for her well-being and her heart, and she loved him more than anything else. griffin followed very close behind, but the love for a child was different than the love for a boyfriend anyway. griffin’s enthusiasm caused the smile on riley’s face to brighten. there was nothing she loved more than seeing griffin and zane interact. for some reason she found the pair to be oddly adorable. ”good!” she practically bounced with excitement. ”he’ll be so happy to see you.” zane would probably be more interested in seeing griffin than riley, actually. but riley couldn’t really blame him. griffin was a lot more entertaining than her, and it wasn’t like zane got a lot of time to see griffin anyway. so it made since that he’d want to see him more.

sometimes riley couldn’t help but wonder what her relationship would be like if she wasn’t so uptight about things like smoking, drugs, and alcohol. as much as she liked to think it would be better that way, because griffin wouldn’t have to worry about her bugging him about it all the time, deep down she was certain that things would just be worse. there was no telling what kind of mess griffin would be if she wasn’t constantly checking in on him when it came to his habits. what was so odd about things was that a small part of her found the way he smoked to be a bit attractive, even if it was a dirty habit that she hated deep down inside. but there was a handful of guys that could make smoking look sexy, and griffin was one of them. however, that didn’t change the fact that she wished he would quit to save his lungs and his voice. there were a lot of things he did that were attractive, so losing that habit wouldn’t be too much of a loss in the end. his frown caused her to frown even more, suddenly feeling extremely guilty about dragging his attitude down with hers. that was the last thing she wanted to do. but it was a push and pull of things, because all she wanted was him to be happy. but if she was down, then he got down. if she was up, then he’d be up. and vice versa. the small movement of his thumb against her hand was assuring, and she looked over at him for a moment. it pained her to let go of his hand and step away from him, but any amount of affection he showed her left her with butterflies, and that wasn’t something she needed right now.

ignoring his outstretched arms, riley continued to avoid any affection coming from griffin. yes, there was an incredible want within her to walk straight into his arms and let him hold her. it was the easiest thing for her to do right now, and it seemed like a pretty good fix-all at most points. if she could just let him hold her and take her away from the world, she would. but sadly reality wouldn’t allow something as easy as that to happen. life would never be that easy for her or anyone. ”there’s nothing to tell you,” she told him with a small shrug. it seemed best to just ignore all of this, or at least attempt to. it had been stupid of her to bring it up to begin with. she should have just told him that everything was fine and she was just having a rough day and let it go, but that would have been a lie. and things probably would still be the same for her tomorrow. at griffin’s words, she started to turn again only to have him standing beside her. his hand squeezed hers again, something she’d grown used to and greatly appreciated at times like this. she sighed, ready to speak but ended up cut off by his next words which caught her off guard. ”no,” she shook her head rather quickly, disagreeing with everything he’d just laid out for her. going home by herself would make more sense than taking him with her, but even that wasn’t exactly a plausible idea. she had too much work to do here to just pack up and leave. ”i have things here i need to take care of, and you can’t just leave the band like that. i’m fine. don’t worry about me.” as she spoke, it seemed like he was also realizing that the idea wasn’t exactly the best. it wouldn’t help the situation any at all, and if anything people would just start talking about her even more. ”don’t do anything, griffin. i’m fine. just. keep doing what you do.” she nodded, as if that was the end of it and everything was suddenly solved.

walking away again, riley felt as if she’d put an end to the conversation. there was nothing else to discuss, but griffin was going to let it go just like she’d told him to. yeah. as if. things never went the way riley expected them to, especially if they involved griffin. he never did was she expected him or wanted him to do. she came to an abrupt stop when he stepped in her path, taking both of her hands and keeping their faces close together. she hated when he did this, forcing her to look him in the eye. of course she could always avert her gaze somewhere else, but it was like he captivated her when he did this. ”i love you too, griff.” her voice was barely a whisper, her hands holding onto his just a little tighter as she looked into his eyes. ”please quit worrying about me,” she kissed him softly, just because she couldn’t resist with him being so close to her. then she stepped away from him, dropping his hands and looking up at the dark grey clouds that had rolled in above them. it was no secret that riley loved that moment before the rain. the air got a little bit cooler, and there was this certain scent that seemed to float around her. ”i can smell the rain,” she told him as she lowered her eyes back to look at him. stepping back to him, she wrapped her arms around his torso. despite her gloomy mood, she still wanted to spend her night cuddled up with griffin listening to the rain. she placed her head on his chest, letting out a small sigh as she did. ”i’m sorry for being so difficult lately. i wish i could spend more time with you. i see you every day, but i still feel like i hardly see you at all.”

1,828 words. um. i love you!

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