A TEMPORARY FASCINATION -

[sunny]

sawyer really wasn't the smartest person around and, as much as he tried to deny it, he knew the reality of it was beginning to settle in. one would think that after nearly failing to graduate on time - mostly due to his laziness, lack of motivation to apply himself and the distractions of music, drugs and a pretty girlfriend - he would have learned his lesson. but no, sawyer hart was type of person who refused to learn the first time. it was definitely a downfall, he knew this, but he simply shoved it to the back of his mind. his refusal to work on such shortcomings as this was definitely beginning to affect him now and he wasn't so sure he was quite ready to deal with the amount of shit that he had willingly just pulled onto his plate.

taryn was back in his life and the twenty two year old couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. it was pretty obvious, at least to him, that he was completely hung up on the girl. he hadn't seen her in years and he felt like he had finally, finally begun to get over her. that is, until she asked him to have lunch with him. try as he might, sawyer couldn't bring himself to be the cold, guarded asshole he was to most people who had hurt him in some way. instead, he just treated her like more of an annoyance. something he had to deal with as karma for whatever reason. he knew he needed to work up the nerve and tell her to fuck off just so he could save himself problems. however, sawyer was a pro at making himself miserable and instead of deleting her off facebook, like any normal, sane person would do, he talked to her and ended up agreeing to meet her for lunch at some little cafe on her college campus. after agreeing, he had logged off and gotten high...it was too much for his little brain to handle. she scared him in a way. taryn was able to get under his skin with little effort, something he was experiencing right now. god, he hated his life. he needed somebody new. somebody who let him be in control instead of the little blonde girl who always seemed to have the upper hand in the situation.

lunch had gone well. surprisingly well. he thought that would have been it. no more messages from her. he had humored her. caught up with her about silly topics that seemed important at the time. after nearly having a heart attack going to see her, the sense of relief that washed over him after their meeting had been the most wonderful thing in the world to him. he was finally happy and, in his mind, it was worth it. he proved he could be civil to her. life was good. he could finally move on.

except his life seemed to have different plans for him because, unfortunately for sawyer, they started talking again. and they were getting deep. well, not super deep of course, but deep enough to question things like why he wasn't sleeping well and why she had kept the pillow pet he had bought her a few months before they had broken up. then, he had made the mistake of saying he missed the pillow pet. he actually didn't; if anything, sawyer was using lenny as an excuse to see taryn. it was a stupid idea, that's what he kept telling himself, but the more he argued, the more he tried to rationalize. and after rationalizing with himself, he asked if he could go to her apartment to see him. taryn had said yes. and now, sawyer was living with the ridiculous amount of nerves he had brought upon himself.

"god damn it, ty." he snapped, pushing his fingers through his light brown hair. "i wish you could fucking talk. save me from doing stupid shit like this." ty, his fluffy gray cat, didn't say anything and simply ignored sawyer's outburst. typical. fucking typical. he wasn't so sure he could go through with this; he had no idea what to expect once he set foot through taryn's door. she would have an edge over the situation and he knew it and definitely was not looking forward to it. sawyer took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. he wanted to be high right now, he really did. only because the drugs would make him more able to handle this situation. however, he knew better. he didn't want to know what would happen if he was high and around her...he didn't even want to think about it. sawyer's goal was to see lenny, maybe talk for a few minutes, and then leave. "wish me luck." he stated, giving his cat an affectionate rub behind the ears as he walked by on his way to the door. "i'm gonna need it." ty glanced at him and sawyer gave a small chuckle. silly cat. however, the amusement didn't last long considering he had much more important things to deal with.

as he made his way to her apartment, he just tried to calm himself down, trying to separate himself from his emotions and his racing heart. he had a reputation to keep with her; something that was near impossible due to the fact that she knew him so fucking well. he arrived sooner than he would have liked and he knocked on her door, firmly, confidently. he let his shoulders drop, trying to adopt a relaxed, nonchalant attitude. so help him god, he did not want taryn knowing he was freaking out. when she finally opened the door, he gave her one of his typical, lazy smirks. "hey," he said, lightly. "let me in. i miss lenny." so far, so good. now it was only a matter of seeing if he could last.

TAG: NICOLE/TARYN WORDS: 996 NOTES: WOW HI THIS SUCKS, I'M SORRY.

template by eliza @ shadowplay

[taryn paige hayes]

And through the rising and falling apart, We discover who we are

anyone who knew taryn would most likely be able to tell you exactly what her apartment looked like, even if they had never been in it themselves. the little blonde headed girl was one of the most unorganized people you would ever come across, aside from the files in her computer and the storage of her art supplies. even her art supplies weren’t the most organized things in the world though. usually she would leave them laying out whenever she finished what it was she was doing. it was only when she put them away that things became somewhat organized. her bed was never made, and she left clothes laying wherever they landed when she took them off. it was only when she actually took some time to do her laundry that she gathered them into somewhat organized piles. it was probably a bit shocking, but she actually took the time to separate her darks and lights when she washed her clothes. she did this about once a week, if even that. mostly it was when she randomly remembered or when she noticed that the apartment was getting too full of clothes.

the apartment was pretty small, but that didn’t bother her any seeing as she was currently the only one in it. when she’d had a roommate, things had been a little difficult. back then, taryn had been a lot more organized about things too. it was only because she had been forced to be though. now that she was alone, she had taken the place and let it evolve into a direct reflection of herself. there wasn’t a ton of furniture, because she was a fan of breathing room. the living area had a couch, a table, and a desk that her macbook and camera sat on. there was a flat screen television on the wall directly in front of the couch, and her pet beta fish sat on the table underneath it. the bright red fish swam around his bowl happily. he hadn’t been fed all day, his water was pathetically low, and his bright red color was a refreshing speck in the gray contents of the bowl. one corner of the room was completely dedicated to her paints. both the floor and wall were covered in plastic to avoid any stray paint leaving stains that her landlord would have a fit over. looking at the plastic, it was quite obvious that without it things would be a mess. dried paint littered it, along with a few spots of wet paint. it was definitely the most colorful part of the room.

at the moment, taryn was sitting in the middle of the plastic. her legs were crossed indian style, and she had one of her brushes in her hand as she stared at an empty canvas that was placed in front of her. a small sigh came from her as she sat the brush down and ran her hand through her hair before pulling it back into a messy ponytail to keep it out of her way. anytime taryn couldn’t handle her emotions, she sat down to paint. she’d take those emotions and put them on a canvas. it was the most relieving thing she could do, and lately she’d needed a lot of relieving. it’d been several years since she’d spoken to sawyer. if she were to be honest, it was sawyer that made going to high school worth it. high school had always seemed petty to her. there were bigger, better things waiting for her. she had always known that. but being there with sawyer made going to that dreaded place a little bit better. out of all the guys she had dated, he was the one she got the most serious with. they were so serious that she gave her virginity to him, something she really didn’t regret. a lot of girls would later say they regretted sleeping with a guy after a nasty break up like the two of them had, but taryn wasn’t like that. it had been right for her to lose it to him, and she knew that. now that she was single, she had her occasional hook-ups, but it wasn’t like she really slept around. mostly, she didn’t have the time. well, she did. she just spent it with her paint, camera, and the editing software on her computer.

her mind started to drift to a few nights ago when she’d seen sawyer online on facebook. ever since that night, she’d been trying to figure out what made her click his name and talk to him. no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t figure it out. there was no reason for her to talk to him. not after years of not saying a word to each other. surprisingly, things hadn’t gone so bad. he’d been quite obviously resistant at first, but she expected that. eventually though, she convinced him to go to lunch with her. they met on campus, seeing as it was easier for taryn that way. lunch had gone well too. there wasn’t any screaming. there wasn’t any hitting or kicking. the conversation had been light and casual. things were civil, and to anyone else in the cafe they probably looked like two friends catching up on old times. it was actually really nice, and she’d enjoyed it. she could only hope that he had too. that couldn’t be it though. since the day she’d broken up with him, she’d know that she made a mistake. it was too late to take it back, and he had so much resentment built toward her that she knew fixing it would be impossible. now though, with things being civil, she took her chance at speaking to him again. they somehow ended up on the topic of lenny, the pillow pet sawyer had bought her before they broke up. kind of randomly, taryn told him that lenny missed him. it made no sense, seeing as it was a stuffed pillow with no emotion at all. to her surprise, sawyer said that he missed lenny too. one thing led to another, and they had plans for sawyer to come by her apartment... to see a pillow pet.

letting out a small sigh, taryn looked back down at her canvas. it was no longer blank but filled with color. the entire canvas was colored. there wasn’t a single spot dry. it always happened like this. she’d get lost in her head, and the painting would just appear. sometimes she wondered if she was even a painter, or if someone else was doing these things while she wasn’t paying attention. looking down at her bare legs, she saw that a few drops of paint had made their way from the brush and onto her. they were small splatters, most likely from paint dropping off the brush while she waited to see what she wanted to do next. the knock at the door tore her eyes away from the field she had painted with it’s dark, stormy sky above the bright green grass. it didn’t make much sense really. the bottom half of the painting looked cheerful. it was something you’d imagine skipping through. the top half was a mess with dark gray storm clouds rolling through.

brushing her hands off on the bottom of her oversized t-shirt, she stood and headed to the door. when she stood, the shirt fell down to her thighs, covering all but the very bottom of the jean shorts she was wearing. it was odd, seeing sawyer on the other side of that door. he stood there, looking at her with one of those smirks that made her weak in the knees. her stomach filled with butterflies and her heart raced, all because she saw him standing there. stepping to the side, she let him into the apartment and closed the door behind him. ”right, lenny. he’s in my bedroom on the bed. you can go get him? or i will. i just need to clean up a bit first.” she gave him a small smile, looking down at herself. he probably thought she was a mess, not that he didn’t before. laughing slightly, she headed back to her little corner of paint and started to pick things up. as she bent down to bundle up her paint brushes, she turned slightly to glance at him over her shoulder. "oh, by the way. i went to the store this morning. there's some oreos on the counter and strawberry milk in the fridge." for as long as taryn had known sawyer, she'd always gotten to him through his stomach. it wasn't something she did on purpose, it was just second nature to her.

1,393 words. omg i rambled so much i'm sorry D: