/ BREATHE IN DEEP FOR ME

[asher sebastian blake]

You reach for my hands, but you touch my heart.

he'd always had a weird taste in girls, and it was something everyone knew. asher would never be caught dating a girl with manners, someone ladylike. no, no matter how many times his mother tried to set him up with the pastor's daughter, no matter how many times he got shit for introducing a girl to his parents who wasn't up to their standards-- not that their standards were too high, by any means-- he was always falling for these loud girls, tomboys who weren't afraid of dirt. girls who told it like it was, girls who might have even been just a little bit rude, brutally honest, obnoxious. the kind who would be mean to him without worrying about his feelings, especially since he was so easygoing in the first place. asher had become notorious for falling for these girls, no matter how many times it had backfired. his friends knew instantly who he would be interested in, his family was unfortunately aware of it. he was always at the mercy of his older brother and sister's teasing, but he was used to their constantly babying asher.

and so if anyone was surprised at his little thing for gillian, they were clearly either blind or didn't know asher at all. okay, maybe it was a little more than a "little thing." he was clearly crushing on her, and hard. gillian had always been more of jonah's friend than his, though. not that it really even mattered to ash. they were just friends, right? it wasn't like jonah was interested in her or anything. just friends. anyway, it should have been obvious that he would fall for her eventually. if anyone fit asher's criteria for his perfect girl, it was gill. plus, it had gotten to the point where. he didn't mind when she brought him bugs with antennae. those just freaked him out a little bit. alright, again, that was an understatement. antennae gave him chills, the way they moved around. gross. except he found it weirdly cute when she threatened to put ants in his bed, or down his pants. he loved it when she called him gaysher, when she told him off in general. yes, he was a pretty easygoing guy, but it was something different for him to actualy enjoy this from a girl. she really should have just been "callie and jonah's friend," that girl they had do merch for them, but of course, this would happen to asher.

he hadn't really meant to tell her. ash knew he would have to eventually, because he had a hard time getting over crushes in general, let alone gillian. he actually hadn't even told her yet, but he was hoping she would get the picture without him actually having to say it. how awkward would that be? it wasn't something he really wanted to come and out say. what would he even say? hey, so i'm in love with you. no big deal or anything? because he really did not want to sound stupid...and now he was acting like a girl. the kind of girls who generally annoyed him. yeah, that was asher blake now.

he was so tired of talking. it sounded pretty bad, but tour had just begun and asher was tired of talking to fans. he was always grateful, that was for sure. he just wasn't super outgoing or anything. ash didn't mind signing something here and there, he didn't mind pictures, however awkward. he just wasn't the kind of person who liked talking to people and socializing all day. he desperately needed alone time once in awhile, or he'd get really unpleasant with whoever he was talking to. today had run just a little too long for him. a group of girls had even caught him while he was walking back to the bus, and it was already getting dark outside. by this time, asher's sweat had actually dried, only of course he was still tired out. oh well. he could fake some energy, he supposed, to talk to gill. it wasn't like he'd climbed a mountain or swam across the english channel, right? it would be fine. he'd be okay.

asher leaned his back again the bus before he went in. what was he going to say? he wasn't acting like himself at all-- he was normally so easygoing and relaxed, not a worried person at all. plus, gillian was the typical girl asher went for, the kind he was a total sucker for. it should have been completely apparent, but now he found himself standing outside his bus wishing he had pot and acting like a girl. the exact kind of girl he didn't like. he wished he had just texted her. no face to face contact, no embarrassment. of course, he knew as he thought it that it wasn't true. whatever! it wasn't like he was proposing to her or giving her any kind of big news, he reassured himself. this shouldn't have even come as a surprise. this whole thing was completely stupid, he told himself. he really had absolutely no idea why he was acting like this, like this was the most important thing he had ever done.

he finally turned around and swung open the door, going into the surprisingly quiet bus. asher ran a hand nervously through his dark hair, trying to see if there was someone inside. "...gill?" he called, unsurely. he walked in further, dropping the drumsticks he was still carrying for some reason on his bunk, then immediately flinched and jumped away. he leaned forward, bent over, his hand in ready position to pull the covers up...but he couldn't will himself to do it. he exhaled, falling back to sit on the bunk opposite his. "gillian?" he called again, staring at his bunk, elbows on his knees. there was no way he was going to be checking for those ants.

1005 words for tati. i haven't written this much in FOREVER.

[gillian rochelle kingsley]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true] [atrb=style,background-color: #303030; width: 410px; height: 250px;] YOU JUST CAN'T CHOOSE BETWEEN US TWO, IT'S A GAME YOU'LL ALWAYS LOSE gillian kingsley was not your average girl. she didn't like wearing makeup, she played in the mud at the age of twenty-three, and she loved playing with bugs - even if they were a little icky sometimes. many called gillian weird, or gross, or even a man in disguise, but honestly she didn't care what people thought at the end of the day. she used to be a people pleaser, and was done trying to live up to other people's standards. in the end, she was much happier doing her own thing. mooching off of other people, smoking too many cigarettes, and going on tour with her best friends in the world. honestly, who wouldn't like a life like this? she wasn't about to messy it up by bringing in unnecessary drama - she wasn't one of those girls. she was the girl that hung out with all the boys, the one that tried to arm wrestle everyone, the one who won burping contests with the biggest and beefiest on tour. she was dirty, crude, and loud... and honestly couldn't be any happier. the madison and the monster tour bus was a second home to gillian, as she never really had a permanent place of residence and doing merch for her best friend's band was the easiest way to have a roof over her head and a little bit of money in her pocket. things were pretty easy around here too, as she got along with almost everyone who lived on the bus, and there were never any fights that weren't petty, sibling type quabbles that ended fairly painlessly. from an outsiders perspective, you'd think the bus had the most dysfunctional relationship around - the majority were constantly toking it up, there was more alcohol on the bus than you'd think possible, and all the girls who bunked there were a little bit insane - with the exception of althea, who had a pretty good head on her shoulders, although she didn't talk very much. not that her and callie really acted like girls, as they could both out drink the boys and could take a hit way better than the group of pansies. gill didn't think of the boys in the same sense that most did - she didn't have a fat crush on max, she didn't wonder if jonah's carpets matched the drapes, and she definitely didn't follow fuckyeahasherblake on tumblr. they were just her friends, a bunch of guys that she'd known for a really long time who she happened to live with. really, jonah was her closest pal of the three, as they had known each other the longest and easily got along best. max wasn't around a whole lot, and asher had this weird tendancy to do weird things and be strangely quiet whenever she was around as of late. she couldn't quite figure him out, and it drove her a little insane honestly - she was used to being a tomboy, but sometimes asher looked at her in a way that made her wonder if she should be wearing makeup, or if she looked fat in her cut off shorts and t-shirt that she'd been wearing for the past three days in a row. honestly, when it came to asher, there was a whole mess of confusion, and the fact that she thought he was cute was almost unsettling. while a lot of the girls on tour came here to hook up with rockstars, to live their slutty little fantasies out, gillian just needed a place to live. she had no urge to fuck every cute guy that passed her, and probably had the lowest sex drive of anyone she hung out with. gillian had grown used to the idea of being alone, and while drunken makeout sessions were nice on occassion, she was so much better at having fun on her own. not that you'd think that gillian wasn't a maneater - some of the things she did gave off the appearance that she was the biggest slut around, as she would openly talk about pretty much anything no matter who was around. the fact that she was trying to touch every famous butt on tour didn't help her case either - that was a bit confusing for lots of people, when she'd take a handful and then tell said guy that she had no desire to sleep with him, it was just a compulsion that she'd discovered a few weeks ago that she couldn't stop. she was beginning to think she should stop when it came to asher and jonah though, as they were becoming used to her hands touching their asses when her original intention was to make people feel as uncomfortable as possible. hell, gill even kept a little tally chart in her bunk, marking down every time she got a handful of some new guy's cheeks so that she could remember all the cool things she did on tour. oh god, if only her parents knew that her only real ambition was to slap travis covington's ass so hard it left a mark. for the past few hours she'd been exchanging text messages with asher, realizing that their conversation was going in circles and that she couldn't make heads or tails of anything he was saying. over the past few weeks she had developed a little, tiny, miniscule crush on the drummer, as he was the one who hung out with her when the rest of the band was lighting up, and how he'd always be the one to text her first whenever she was mentally willing someone to cure her of her merch tent boredom. she didn't exactly show her feelings though - she spent the majority of her time making fun of him, calling him gay, threatening to put bugs in his bed so that he'd freak out and probably cry whenever he tried to pass out at night. being nice was never gillian's strongest point, although you couldn't exactly call her mean either. she just spoke what was on her mind, unless of course those feelings could lead her to get hurt... in which case, she kept them pretty deep inside. the only person she even talked about boys to now a days was jonah, and that was only because she knew callie would make fun of her, and lydia was always wrapped up in whatever boy drama jt was dragging her into. she had told jonah that asher seemed to be flirting with her, although the minute she said something asher's intentions seemed to turn around. god, she couldn't figure this boy out for the life of her. asher told her he'd meet her on the bus, that he wanted to talk in person. oh god, this was probably some huge prank - he'd walk into the bus with a bucket full of worms and dump them on her head, surely that was his intention. she sat in her bunk, rereading the text messages on the screen, until she heard footsteps on the bus - she quickly ran to the small bus bathroom and closed the door, making sure he wasn't armed with squirmy things or anything worse than that. she cracked the door open and watched him examine his bunk for bugs - no, gill would never be that mean... she knew his fear of creepy crawlies and while she'd occasionally wave an ant or caterpillar in his face, she'd never actually put them in his things. she pulled the door open and walked up to him, staring at the bed along with him. "i didn't put anything in your bunk, jerk off." she stated, jumping into his bunk, sprawling across the blankets. "now what the hell did you want to tell me? you're being weird." she asked as politely as she knew how to, picking up the drumsticks that he had just dropped, twirling them in her fingers to the best of her ability. "seriously, you're freaking me out." she added, tapping the ends of the sticks on his head lightly, trying to lighten the mood in whatever way she could. SJ MY LOVELY - 1358 WORDS - I AM A CODING REPEATER

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[asher sebastian blake]

You reach for my hands, but you touch my heart.

for some reason, the last thing asher blake really looked for in a girl was looks. it was a quality that most people would admire in others but very rarely have. for asher, the way a girl acted dictated to him whether he saw her as attractive or not. girls who would go play in mud and be brutally honest with him, he would see them as attractive in his eyes. it probably made no sense at all, the behavioral qualities he liked in girls, but it was something he didn't mean to do. passive aggressive-ness in girls was a total turnoff for him. if you were going to say something, why wouldn't you just say it? he didn't get it. and honestly, he liked when girls didn't wear makeup for some reason. there was something endearing about a girl who left her face bare, raw. honest, like the way they acted. having these qualities just seemed natural to him. being afraid to get dirt under your finger nails, that was something that annoyed him a little.

he really did like having her around, especially on the tour bus with the rest of madison and the monster. she had blended into the band, not as a fan but as part of their little tour family. despite the fact that there were probably plenty of rumors about her being more than a friend to the band, probably due to her ass grabbing ways, asher loved the way she was somehow always there, always managing to mooch off someone. oh well, at least she didn't pretend that she wasn't doing that. anyway, it really was hard for him to understand how anyone could even think gill was just another fan of the band. honestly, to asher, madison and the monster just seemed like more of a group of friends than anything else, not even a band and crew. while he usually tended to blend into the background, he didn't mind it so much here. not only was he the drummer and therefore confined to sitting at the back of the stage behind a big drum set, but he was also kind of the "average guy" of the band. friendly enough, not too loud, but not shy either. asher was a good guy, however uninteresting he was. the only thing even remotely surprising about him might have been his smoking pot, and even that he didn't do as much as the rest of his band. that and his taste in girls, of course. that was probably his one quirk.

he wished it wasn't the case, but he could really only see the good in gillian kingsley. god, was there anything he didn't like about her? probably not, at least, he couldn't find anything. it was probably a bad thing that he saw her that way, but he couldn't help it! what could he do when the kind of girl he liked was pretty much the opposite of what most guys liked, and gill was just the perfect model for "his type"? he knew it wasn't good, he knew he should have been able to see and accept her flaws, but somehow, they were in hiding. asher blake, of course, saw the normal person's flaws as virtues. he actually liked it when she made fun of him. and what kind of guy liked when a girl threatened him with his biggest phobia? other than asher, of course. for goodness sake, sometimes he would notice that she was wearing the same outfit for the third day in a row...and he'd think it was cute. yes, blake was at the point where bad hygiene, at least on gill, was attractive. not that he could even talk about hygiene because his clothes cycle was about a quarter the length of his laundry cycle, so. but he really was probably whipped in every sense of the word.

plus there was that whole ass grabbing thing that she did. while asher wasn't really turned on by being groped by her whenever she passed by him, there was something that fascinated him about her little quirk. especially the fact that she kept a damn tally chart in her bunk. who else would keep a chart of asses they'd grabbed, other than gillian? he really couldn't think of anyone else who would ever do that. he wondered briefly what his parents would think if they met gillian, if they found out that their son was dating a girl whose main ambition was to touch as many famous asses as possible. and crap, he let his mind wander again. asher wasn't dating gillian, and he needed to keep that in check, because he was definitely letting himself get ahead of himself. he hadn't even told her, she didn't even know how he felt about her. whenever he got close to telling her, it seemed like he would do a complete one eighty and pretend he hadn't said anything. in reality, he was just chickening out every time he tried to tell her how he felt about her. it sucked and he felt bad about it, but he just had absolutely no idea how he was supposed to get it out of his mouth. just spit it out, he kept repeating to himself, but he never took his own advice.

he glanced up at her, walking towards him and sitting on his bunk, desperately wishing they weren't sober for this, but unfortunately they were. he was, at least. "oh," he said faintly, realizing she really hadn't put bugs in his bed. sure, she never had before, but he could never be too sure with gillian. it was something else asher liked, the way he never really knew what the fuck she was going to do next. "i...uh, i don't really know," he very obviously lied. "it's not really-- i don't know. it's just...how am i supposed to just say this out of nowhere?" he rambled, probably getting on her nerves, he though. he flinched slightly as she tapped the sticks on his head, exhaling.

1037 words for tati. i just typed & posted this from my cell phone. DEDICATION.