" UP IN OUTER SPACE, THERE'S NO GRAVITY TO FALL. "

[SERAPHINA ROONEY LOREN]

rooney loren woke up tuesday morning with a massive hangover and the unpleasant taste of dick in her mouth. yup, definitely got laid last night. she turned to her left to see a dirty blond mess over her shoulder. turning on her back, she sighed. one night stands really weren't her thing. the frustrating part was that the person laying next to her reminded her too much of someone who wasn't there. and rooney did not like those types of surprises to wake up to in the morning. frowning, rooney let the sheets slide off her body as she sat up, feet touching dirty jeans rather than a clean floor. she scowled, immediately lifting her feet up off the ground. she took another look at the boy snoring in the king-sized bed. so long stranger, never seeing you again. rooney stood up and scanned the room for her own cloths, but soon found it was a lost cost. whoever this person was, they had a fucking filthy bedroom. his cloths covered the floor, and there was entirely too much shit being hoarded in the place. she soon accepted that she wasn't going to find her dress that she'd worn the night before, and instead found herself heading towards the stranger's "laundry room" to find a clean shirt to make due as a dress instead. opening up the dryer, rooney found an oversized 'free weezy' t-shirt that just barely covered her ass. great, i need fucking underwear, she thought to herself. making her was towards the door, rooney was relieved to find that she'd left her purse and shoes there. at least those things wouldn't be lost. she slipped on her franco sarto east boots, grabbing her poppy montage layla purse before stepping out the complex.

it wasn't until rooney got to walking on the street that she realized how much of a spectacle she was. it was 11 am in los angeles and businessmen, children, and 20 sometimes were all out to play. and here she was with her messy sex hair and smudged eye make-up in broad day light, clearly not enjoying the sun in her face. she tried to resist rolling her eyes at the disapproving mothers as they pulled their children closer to them, as if somehow her doing the walk of shame meant she was going to snatch their children. she even flipped off a couple of construction workers who were giving her a hard time. ignoring all the stares as she made her way into walmart, rooney headed straight for the delicates and found a pair of lacy lime green hipsters. she bought them in the self-checkout as to avoid getting more attention than she already had before slipping into the handicap stall to put them on. once out of the toilet, she made her way towards the sink, getting her hands wet before running her fingers through her hair. there, at least it looked somewhat tamed now. before finally leaving the story, rooney made a last minute decision to buy herself a cheap pair of sunglasses, her hangover really starting to hit her the more she moved around. work, on a fuck day like this? she was going to be in for a long day. course working at skyshot hardly qualified as work. after being ethan mitchell's favorite intern, she'd managed to become his assistant solely because she always managed to keep his schedule clear. and rooney hadn't even wanted the job; she'd just accepted it in order to save up money to move to mexico and live in a shack on the beach. and even after she'd made enough money, ethan had told her she couldn't quit until he found someone as good (read: bad) as her.

when rooney finally made it to the skyshot offices, it was lunchtime, and ethan's meal was sitting on her desk waiting to be handed to him. rooney drowned out the bustling sounds of the office, sitting in her computer chair with a thud. she started to remove her shades, only to slip them right back on once the light hit her eyes. fuck. no. rubbing her temples, rooney reached into her desk for motrin (prescription strength motrin sent from her moms) and swallowed the pill dry. she then proceeded to do what she did best: nothing. gnawing down on the fries in ethan's lunch, she played bejeweled, attempting to beat her own high score that she had set just yesterday. by the time she finished her first game, the fries were gone. rooney stared at the spot in the styrofoam container where the fries were supposed to be blankly. welp, ethan would not be happy about this. pressing multiple times on the intercom button on her phone, rooney annoying repeated, "ethan. ethaaaan. ethaaaaan," until her boss finally answered her. "your lunch is here but i ate all you fries. they were soggy and gross." of course, the fries hadn't actually been bad at all, but rooney figured if she made something up it'd get ethan off her case. leaning back in her chair as ethan stepped out his office, rooney waited for her boss to mention something about her appearance. because rooney looked like shit.

words 881 tagged tatiana notes next post will be better ugh.

[ethan jay mitchell]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, margin: auto; line-height: 85%; padding-left: 50px; width: 400px] the thing ethan loved most about going to work was that he never actually did any work at all. why travis had hired him was a mystery - surely their friendship of twenty-four years counted for something, but for the amount of hell that ethan put him through on a daily basis... he wasn't sure if it was worth it at all. ethan did occasionally get some work done, as he'd mostly cram a weeks worth of work into two hours set aside every friday for deadlines. maybe if ethan had the attention span to sit down at a desk and go over emails, he could be really good at his job. the work he did on those friday afternoons was always quality.. although the majority of his assignments got handed off to his intern and roommate, jadyn bell. and of course, his lovely assistant rooney loren, who he had hired on a whim and discovered he could not live without. without a sassy secretary to hang up the phone on anyone who tried to reach him, he'd be stuck talking to people on the phone all day. no, this left him with time to run around the office to cause mayhem, ethan's only real skill other than guitar. how did travis put up with this on a daily basis? oh right, maybe it was because ethan threatened to expose their deep dark past, that one time they had a little bit too much to drink in travis's basement. for once his phone was ringing directly to his office, a sign that no one was out in the front area to answer the phone for him. he was a little worried about the girl - after all, she had the capacity to be a real brat sometimes, and he often wondered when she was going to get the shit kicked out of her by a bunch of angry california girls... what would he do without his looney rooney to make appointments for days that didn't exist? so ethan decided to unplug his phone for a while, as he walked around the intern's workspace, bothering each and every one of them for as long as possible. oh, this was easily the best part of his day - he could talk to all of these teenagers for hours on end, and they couldn't do a thing about it because they were just lowly interns who fetched his coffee. he didn't bug jadyn quite as much though, seeing as jadyn had a real attitude problem lately - he made a mental note to look into that. by the time lunch rolled around, he was starting to get a little more scared - sure, rooney was a little unreliable sometimes, but she usually at least sent him some kind of inappropriate text message explaining her crazy nights in full detail. even if the messages were total lies, or just obnoxious excuses to get out of work, they usually arrived at some point during the day. he returned to his desk and pulled out one of emerson's coloring books from his drawer - yes, it was wrong to steal his child's toys for his own amusement, but em had left it behind last time she was here with the baby and ethan was too determined to color every single picture wrong to bring it back home. out came the crayons, and ethan scribbled away until he heard his name being called over the intercom system - was that rooney? was she alive after all? he shoved the crayons back into his drawer and nodded at his artwork - of course dora the explorer was supposed to look like a cholo, that was how the show went, right? - and leaped towards the door, running up to her desk to greet his not so friendly co-worker. his eyes focused on her appearance for a moment and a loud chuckle escaped his lips - "you look like shit, looney." he commented, not even caring that she ate all of his precious french fries this afternoon. "what the hell did you get into? it looks like you got in a fight with a raccoon... or turned into a raccoon... don't tell me you're totoro????" he asked loudly, knowing it was obnoxious, but yes, he wanted to bring a little bit of attention to her in the office. he often gave her special treatment, and now she could get the other end of the ethan spectrum. "no but really, what happened to you? i thought you were like, dead in a ditch or something." he said nonchalantly, not bothering to add on that he had actually been a little worried, and that he would have missed her if she had died. oh well, it was implied. ethan sat on the edge of her desk - a sign that he wasn't going to go away any time soon - and rested his elbow on his leg, his chin in the palm of his hand. "i want the dish, girlfraanndd." oh yes, and he wondered why there were constant rumors that emily was just his gay beard. UH. THIS IS 856 REALLY SHITTY WORDS LOL DON'T JUDGE ME OR ETHAN OKAY HE IS PERFECT JUST THE WAY HE IS...

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[SERAPHINA ROONEY LOREN]

similar to ethan, rooney didn't have much skill to be working in an office. as an intern, she had basically just ran errands for ethan and travis, as well as helped ethan play jokes on people in the office. her internship itself had been a bit of a joke, considering that she took the position in order to work with a friend. but despite all this, rooney did quite love working at skyshot records. secretly, of course, because as far as the rest of the world was concerned, rooney loren was a girl bored out of her mind half the day. it was all just an act really, a front to put people off. it tended to make people less likely to try and talk to her about things. which was why ethan had hired her in the first place. she was his security detail. a phone call came through, and she hung it up. a person came up to her desk asking to speak with ethan, and she told them he wasn't available. and in between then, she played computer games and checked on facebook. and she got paid for it. truly, the girl had it easy. and she knew that she did. rooney was just glad that she'd found a job where she didn't really have to work hard, and at the same time made enough money to really save up for her dream life. though ethan had no intention of ever letting her quit. she had even quit once, and ethan had just told her no. sure, she could've not come in the next day to start her ground, but that would've been pointless. ethan knew her cell number, had all her other contact information, even knew the general area she lived in. he would've just bugged her until she'd come back. so rooney stuck around, enjoying the practical jokes she got to play on other people by basically working by her own rules. it was somewhat of a compromise between her and ethan.

rooney couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes as her bossed popped up in front of her. it was clear to her, though ethan never said it, that he quite enjoyed having her around. he was always happy to see her in the office and came and said hello whenever she came in, no matter what. and of course, he had to be fucking loud about it. rooney winced behind her five dollar sunglasses, finding it hard to contain the urge to put ethan in a choke hold so that he'd go to sleep. her sigh was the only sign that she had heard ethan's declaration, her body not moving from it's fixed position on her desk chair. noticeably, all eyes on the office were on here. it wasn't often that the rest of the skyshot staff got to see ethan mitchell poking fun at rooney loren. perching her shades on her head, she allowed her smeared dark make up accent her death stare. unsurprisingly, it did little to set ethan off. "jésus, mary, y joseph. asco de vida," rooney mumbled under her breath. "no but really, what happened to you? i thought you were like, dead in a ditch or something." rooney paused, raising an eyebrow at her boss. she could take this moment to point out his casual concern for her well being and how she was well aware he was more concerned that he portrayed, or she could just let him get away with it considering that he hardly ever picked on her. and with her hangover still banging lightly at the back of his head, she chose to let it go.

rooney let out a slight huff as ethan sat on her desk. he really was going to make her explain her wild night, wasn't he? "get off my desk," she puffed out, though there wasn't any real malice behind it. it was more of something to say as to stall actually having to tell ethan just how her crazy her morning (and the night before) had been. wrinkling her nose at her boss, rooney finally spoke up. "okay, i went out partying with my roommate, whatever," she exclaimed, looking sideways into ethan's office. "i drank too much lemonade and vodka and woke up in this stye of an apartment and all i could find that was clean was this fucking shirt." looking down at herself, rooney pulled at the edge of the 'dress', covering the green lace of her underwear that had become visible. crossing her arms and legs both, she looked back up at ethan. "and then i went to walmart and bought sunglasses and underwear, and i ate all your fries, okay?" she exclaimed, exasperated. everyone was listening. she could see the smirks on some of the faces in the office. the only thing that made her happy was that she knew that no one would say shit about it. people were afraid to get on her bad side. probably because it meant that they'd never get ahold of ethan, and sometimes their jobs depended on being able to do that. glaring at her boss, rooney tossed her hair to one side in a huff. "and i know you've done some crazier shit than that, cowboy," she taunted with a challenging look. rooney had heard plenty of stories about ethan and emily during their dating days.

words 916 tagged tatiana notes ¡he has her cursing en español!