Post by GRIFFIN MICAH BUELLER on Jul 21, 2011 3:26:20 GMT -4
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(); width: 457px; padding-top: 30; padding-bottom: 30; -moz-border-radius: 35 35 35 35; -webkit-border-radius: 35 35 35 35;] hi if you asked griffin what he had had for dinner yesterday, who he had kissed a week ago, or what venue he had played at last night, he wouldn't be able to tell you. he wasn't suffering from alzheimer's or amnesia or anything, and although he did love to drink he wasn't belligerently drunk constantly. he just sort of... wasn't always all there. he wasn't an observant person who could put a name to a face all the time, and he liked to take things in stride. what did it matter if he always had to mapquest wherever he was supposed to be going, even if he had been there ten times by now? he was forgetful. that's all. he sat around with headphones on sometimes and forgot to plug them into anything. he got to the grocery store without a list in mind and just bought whatever he was hungry for. he also walked into a room and just stood there because he forgot why he had come in in the first place. those were just silly little things. however, he remembered almost every single fight he had ever shared with riley. the monumental ones, at least. if anything was broken, skin was slapped, or threats were made... there they were. the thoughts were engraved into the back of his mind just for moments like this, where he had to remind himself it was better to keep it cool than let things escalate too much. whenever riley shook her head at him he always felt sick to his stomach. even if she was just showing her clear disapproval of him as she was now, it still just felt like he was always being told 'no' in one way or another. the degree of it always varied, but it definitely egged on griffin's inner high schooler to rebel and do the opposite of whatever his beloved wanted or didn't want. it was rather backwards and idiotic, but leave it to griffin to get caught up in the spur of the moment and not think twice until it was much too late. he simply rolled his eyes since he had no real defense. he had twisted her words around to his benefit before and now he just... he just didn't really know, to be honest. what else was he supposed to say? usually he would just grunt or throw in a random 'whatever,' but he felt like those were sure signs of losing. after all, it wasn't always a contest of who could have the last word. griffin might have usually behaved like that, but there were those thoughts playing like a film reel again in the back of his head to keep him from dragging this out too far. it was stupid and definitely not going to make things better. griffin felt his stomach turning and his heart beat racing. just as he felt like he was cooling down, he was getting angry again. not because of riley this time, but because of the truth. it was pretty crushing to hear the blatant truth, even if that was what he wanted all along. thinking about how girls only wanted to be with him just to say they had been... well, it hurt. it didn't stop him in the past when he had realized he was just a notch in their bedpost, but still. it sucked to be told that you literally meant next to nothing. just shut up, he said quietly, all valor lost now. he shook his head slightly, hoping that these wouldn't be the words that would sink into his brain forever. however, he was suddenly a little bit enlightened, and his volume raised back to a normal one. he was still in this. technically weren't you just another one of those girls? he asked sharply... and regret it instantly. riley was worlds different than the groupies that banged at the bus door every night and just hoped that someone -- anyone -- would answer. riley met him after the band had gained a slight name for themselves, and he knew for a fact that she could care less what he did for a living. though, it was just another attempt to win the argument. blame the 'bro' inside of him. you make me sound like i'm clingy and like i'm five years old. sorry for being a boyfriend who actually care about his girlfriend and actually wants to spend time with her. he 'apologized' with malice. guilt trips could help him win too, right? things were taking a softer turn and griff was slightly glad. maybe it wasn't about 'winning.' the fire under them seemed to burn more slowly and their hot words were cooling off gradually as well. he felt less tense now, watching her on the floor. actually, he felt rather low himself. it was a horrible sinking feeling that made him think the couch cushions were just going to swallow him alive and never spit him back out. luckily, riley made the first real move. it wasn't an apology or anything, but he didn't deserve one in the first place. i hate it too, ri. he admitted. it's all we ever do now, i swear to god. it's ridiculous. and it was, really. they were both grown adults who could handle themselves. why couldn't he just keep his zipper up and his lips sealed? it really wasn't that hard. the booze and the weed weren't exactly helping him out either, but when he felt alone, those were his two best friends. they were always there for him whenever and wherever he needed them, and that was even better than any girl. well, except riley, of course. to hear riley say that she needed him really fucked him up. griffin knew that if they were ever going to break up, he wouldn't be the one saying 'sorry, it's over.' he would never. he loved riley too much, despite any of the hateful and harsh things he could say during their conflicts. he truly would never leave her, and that little scrap of information she relayed to him made him feel just a little better. to feel needed and wanted was an indescribable feeling, and he felt brighter. a little, at aleast. i always need you, griff mumbled quietly in response. she already knew that. shit, who didn't know that? he struggled with putting cling-wrap over his leftovers without getting it all tangled up and keeping his salad fork seperate from his dinner fork at restaurants. riley was always there for that. she was always there when his shirts were on backwards and his shoes were untied and putting him on the brink of breaking his neck with one more foul step. he would be nowhere without her, and that went even beyond the term of 'neediness,' didn't it? he felt her sink into the couch beside him but kept his eyes forward, thinking. his one hand played with the tangles and slight curls of his dark hair while the other blindly found riley's and grasped it gingerly. i love you too, he said timidly. giving up, he finally relaxed against riley with a few deep breaths, and a squeeze of the palm. it was insane to think that that was another hurricane of their love, and they had already passed through it. 1231 WORDS FOR NICOLE AS RILEY AW I KNOW, RIGHT? 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